Up All Night
by BonitaChic
Summary: In canon exploration of the nights between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn as Edward & Bella push the boundaries of their physical relationship. How did Edward end up shirtless in bed in the beginning of Breaking Dawn? Did they reach a compromise along the way?
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

There had been some interesting changes in our relationship since our last trip to the meadow. The day he had offered me everything and I - shockingly - decided to wait. As the new 'protector of my virtue', my boundaries were a lot less strict than his had been and we had both been enjoying the new experiences. I knew though, that it was difficult for him to walk this tightrope between virtue and what he considered vice. But I was developing a plan.

I knew that these days of our last summer together as human and vampire were critical. The last days before our wedding and more importantly- to me at least, the last days before our honeymoon, would need to see some changes in our physical relationship. Neither Edward, nor I, were ready to control ourselves if we didn't work into things slowly.

I sat in the chair at my desk, working through all these thoughts. Edward should be arriving any minute through my window. I was trying to examine all the angles of the deal I was about to try and strike with Edward. I was also trying to work up the courage to actually talk about these things.

One of Renee's only lines of motherly advice rang through my head. _'If you can't talk with a boy about sex, you shouldn't be doing it with him'. _I had rolled my eyes at her favorite line, as if there was anyone I was even considering, but I could finally see the truth in it. It was time to become an adult.

A cool breeze of air announced the arrival of my fiance. I stumbled over the word in my head. Fiance. It was so strange to put that title on my perfect angel. My forever. There had to be a more encompassing word for how I felt about him. How we felt about each other. I filed that thought away to focus on the task at hand. Becoming an adult.

Edward looked breathtaking as usual. He was dressed in the same clothes he had been wearing when he left my house before dinner. His button down shirt and jeans were still immaculate. In contrast, I had already thrown my clothes in the laundry hamper, splattered with sauce from the dinner I cooked for Charlie and myself. As was my routine, I had showered and changed into my pajamas before he came over to spend the night with me.

He gathered me in his arms and kissed me. Before I had a chance to realize I'd been moved, he was seated in my chair and I was settled on his lap with my arms still around his neck. I smiled.

"I missed you." I gave him my usual responded with a kiss that left me gasping for breath.

"How was your dinner with Charlie?" he asked politely.

"Good. Nothing special. I made pasta. He watched sports, I showered. And here we are."

"Here we are," he repeated. His tone made my words sound sultry and mysterious. How could he do that? I spent a few more minutes kissing him to help build up my resolve. The lines I'd practiced in my head didn't sound right anymore. How was I supposed to broach the subject I'd been secretly brooding over for a few days?

"Edward, can we talk?" Simple. Classic. To the point. I decided it was a good start.

"Of course, Love." He continued to kiss me as I tried to think of how to initiate the conversation.

I stood up and walked over to the bed, taking several deep breaths. That got his attention. I don't think I'd ever walked away from his kisses before. He turned in the chair to watch me pace, looking at me curiously. When I didn't start soon enough, he helped break the silence.

"So, what do you want to talk about exactly?"

"I've been thinking about something that I think we should talk about. Officially." He nodded for me to go on trying to smother a smile.

He knew that I was about to try to negotiate for something. I also knew that he would happily give me any material possession my heart desired. He was probably feeling pleased that I wanted something from him finally. If my guess was right, he was about to be thrown a curve ball. I mentally prepared myself for a bit of a fight.

"Ever since that day in the meadow, when you, um, offered to give me anything I _want_..." The smirk died off his face, realizing where I was headed. I was already stammering. I had to be direct. Just like Renee always said, I had to be willing to talk about sex. I started over. "You know that I want to have sex with you." He froze. Not a single muscle moved in his body.

"Not right this second," I clarified. That seemed to put him a little more at ease. More accurately, his eye brow had moved. I tried again. "I want to have sex with you, after our wedding, as a human. Before you turn me into a vampire." I nodded, satisfied with my clarification.

He nodded warily in response.

"You know all that. What I'm trying to say is that, I think we're setting ourselves up for failure if we don't talk about this like adults." There, that was a line I'd practiced. That sounded good. Unemotional, logical.

"Adults," he repeated slowly.

The irony of me telling my one hundred and seventeen year old vampire fiance it was time to be an adult was not lost on me. But he seemed to be taking me seriously. He was definitely interested in where I was going with this. He had that expression he got when he wished he could just pluck the words out of my mind- exasperated curiosity.

"I think that if we're going to do something that no one in history has ever done before and be smart about it, we need to work out a plan." He nodded seriously. Check off another line I worked out in advance - he loved planning. Here came the difficult part.

"Furthermore -"

"Furthermore?" he smirked. I gave him my best glare. Admittedly, that had sounded a lot less cheesy in my mind. I continued on anyway.

"_Furthermore_ - I don't think we can go from zero to one hundred on our wedding night without there being problems. I think we should try to work into things." No reaction. "Physically." I watched his expressionless face. His carefully blank mask had slid into place making it impossible to guess what he was thinking. I had expected arguments or denials or a refusal to talk about it. Not this thoughtful quietness. I panicked.

"It's not just for you, it would be as much for me too. You know how I get all flustered and attack you when we do anything more than kiss? And then I forget to breathe all the time. And I thought that maybe we could work into things. We can establish boundaries that we won't cross, we don't have to push it all in one night- we have all summer, so if we need to slow down - it's not a big deal. I don't want to push you into anything you're not comfortable with-" I was in full panic mode. I just needed him to say something.

He moved and was suddenly sitting on the bed next to me holding me into his side. I shut my mouth to keep from talking more and the blushing started. At least I was able to get through my speech before I was completely red faced.

"Don't be embarrassed." He stroked my hair as he leaned down to look deeply into my eyes. "I think it's a very logical idea. A sort of desensitization therapy." He laughed, his amber eyes twinkling. "Only you could come up with something so strange. But logical. I'm impressed. I should have thought of something like that. Although I doubt it would have occurred to me in a hundred more years. Talking about sex is such a _modern_ idea. Practicing at it- well, it would have caused fainting in my day."

I exhaled in relief. I'd been unconsciously holding my breath waiting for his rejection. Some of the heat behind my cheeks seemed to dissipate as well.

"So you think it's a good idea?"

"I do. We should talk about the details and work on a plan together. It sounds like you've put some thought into it." I nodded, prepared to discuss. "Would it be okay if I took a day to think about this and come up with some ideas? Maybe some ground rules? You should feel free to do the same of course. We can talk about it tomorrow night."

"That sounds great."

I was so relieved to be done with this conversation, and to have his agreement that I felt giddy. It took some kissing and the gentle humming of my favorite lullaby for me to calm down enough to sleep.

**AN: This is an exploration of the nights during the summer between Eclipse and Breaking Dawn. I intend to stick to cannon (read: They will NOT be having sex). However, I believe there may have been [a lot] more wiggle room that summer than perhaps we all assumed. Exactly what happened to have Edward end up shirtless in bed? Could they have reached some kind of compromise along the way? Edward is, after all, also a man. I have 17 chapters of this story already written out. And I have to say, it's pretty good. I hope you'll enjoy the ride as much as I have. **

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. I am not receiving any compensation other than the pleasure of playing with the wondefully angsty creations of Stephenie Meyer. **


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

I smoothed out the wrinkled notebook paper over my knee. Sitting crossed legged at the head of my bed, I watched Edward fold his long legs into an identical position facing me at the foot of the bed. I toyed nervously with the ragged edges of the paper, tearing off little bits and letting them fall into a pile on the comforter.

"So, who wants to go first?" I asked, trying to lighten the awkwardness of this situation.

"If you don't mind, I think it would be appropriate to stick with the 'ladies first rule'. I want your boundaries completely respected, so if you have anything you want to start with?"

Right. Here goes nothing. I smoothed out the paper again focusing on my scrawled handwriting. I'd decided it was better to write these things down, so I couldn't chicken out of talking about them. I cleared my throat.

"Okay, so - maybe this is obvious. But, let's start with the basics: no sex."

"Agreed. Not until after the wedding." He smiled in encouragement. "Next?"

I completely lost my nerve at that moment. All of my items included words like tongue, underwear and nudity. I was suddenly regretting writing this down. I'd have to burn the paper later. "You go next," I stalled.

Realizing my nervousness, he offered up a suggestion. "Well, I was thinking that we could talk about a safe word."

"A safe word?"

"Yes. If things are getting too intense and either one of us feels like we need to slow down, we say the safe word as a signal to the other."

"That makes sense." I chewed on my nails in thought. "But it doesn't have to end everything, right? Like, if I said the safe word because I was about to lose control and attack you with kisses-" he smiled broadly showing his teeth, "you wouldn't like, run out of the room. Right?"

"Agreed. It can just be a signal to the other person that you're close to losing control."

"Does that also mean you won't pull away from me all of a sudden and tell me it's time to go to sleep when things get too intense for you? You could use the safe word instead?"

He cocked his head to the side, staring at me with curiosity. "You noticed that I do that?" I nodded, dropping my eyes back to the tattered edges of my paper. "And that hurts your feelings," he stated, realization dawning on him. "I'm sorry, I hadn't thought about how that could hurt your feelings. I'm only ever trying to keep you safe from my loss of control."

I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant.

"I guess I don't know how to tell you that I'm getting close to losing all control. And then my whole brain is just overloaded and the only solution I know is to remove myself from the temptation. It scares me and I'm unfortunately good at running away."

"Too much Bella, huh?" I smiled feeling better at his words.

"No such thing," he assured me. "Maybe 'temporary Bella overload' would be a more appropriate term," he teased.

I moved to smack him on the arm, which he neatly dodged. Probably saved me an injury. He smiled anyway.

"So, I think a safe word is a good idea. A really good idea. As long as we both promise to respect it," he offered.

"Agreed. So what should it be? Mountain Lion?"

"No," he laughed. "Probably a bad idea to make me think about food at that particular moment."

"Right. Well, how about Newton. That should kill the mood." His mouth turned down in distaste. "Snickerdoodle?" I continued, thinking about food.

"Snickerdoodle?"

"It's my favorite cookie."

"Snickerdoodle it is, then. You can think about food all you want and not be tempted to bite me. You'd chip a tooth". I snapped my teeth at him playfully and he laughed out loud in surprise.

"Shhh. You'll wake up Charlie!" I covered his mouth with my hand. He nodded agreement, his eyes still dancing with humor. I removed my hand slowly, a smile on my lips.

"Do you have any other things you want to share from your list?" He nodded at the paper in my lap.

I hoped he couldn't actually read it from there. Even with his superior vampire eyesight, I was probably safe with my bad handwriting. I could barely read it. Just to be sure, I moved it deeper into my lap.

"Can I make a request about your clothes?"

"My clothes?" His eyes widened in surprised before crinkling in humor. "I will never be able to figure out how your brain works," he laughed.

_And I thank my lucky stars for that. _I knew better than to say that outloud.

"Well, I was wondering, even though I know you won't be actually sleeping, wouldn't you be more comfortable in pajamas?"

"I'm not ever un-comfortable. It's almost all the same to me."

"Almost?" My curiosity flared, sidetracking me.

"Well, I do like the feel of some fabrics better than others. Silk for example feels nicer than denim. Softer against my skin."

"So, do you have any silk pajamas?"

"Yes, thanks to Alice. I honestly haven't ever worn them. But I also have your comfort to think about. I'm afraid the coolness of my body with nothing but silk between us, would chill you too badly."

I let my mind drift on that delicious thought for a moment. Nothing but silk between us. Hmmm.

"Snickerdoodle!" He pleaded, laughing.

I broke out of my reverie and my face reddened again. I guess my momentary day dream had been a bit too obvious on my face. "Sorry. I got sidetracked there. Good use of our new safe word. See, it's already working." I tried to act casual and move on. I'm sure my red face didn't help that facade. "How about cotton pajamas then? Really, it would be more comfortable for me if you weren't wearing jeans to bed."

With my comfort on the line, he agreed to the cotton pajamas. We shared a laugh together over the thought that Alice would take it as a personal challenge to find designer cotton pajamas.

"Okay, back on topic. Your turn." I brought us back to the task at hand, determined to make this work.

"All right. Well, you'll have to forgive me for being forward," he stalled.

"This is a 'forward' conversation, Edward. It's okay. We should talk about this stuff and set boundaries. Let's talk about sex, baby." I deadpanned.

"Not funny, Bella." he reprimanded, but I saw the humor twitching on his lips. I gave him my most innocent smile. I was determined to keep this conversation in the right mood. "Well, to be blunt, I think you should leave all your clothes on." Uh, oh. I sensed another argument about to happen. I'd have to tread carefully here.

"This was actually one of my points too. Sort of in the opposite direction though," I said. He frowned. "I'm not planning on getting naked in front of you," I clarified. He nodded slowly, still cautious. "But, I do think we should get used to a little more skin contact. There's going to be a whole lot of that going on at some point. "

He started shaking his head and opened his mouth to object.

"No wait, hear me out." _Deep breath. Act like an adult. You can do this_. "The heat of my skin is extremely distracting for you, right?"

"Exactly. That's my point," he interjected. "It's too distracting for me, and I might hurt you."

"Well, that's my point too. This is what this desensitization therapy is for. It's to desensitize us to each other. If we start slowly, then we should be able to work up to things." He looked at me thoughtfully for a long moment.

"That strangely does seem to make sense," he shook his head ruefully. "I'm going straight to hell," he mumbled. I pretended not to hear.

"It _**does**_ make sense. Edward, what we're doing is not about guilty pleasures. It's practical. We love each other. We're waiting until we're married to have sex. But we're also not going to jump into this in a way that hurts either of us or gets me killed." That got his full attention. His eyes flashed to black and for a second he looked like a real vampire. "And if it's pleasurable at the same time, is that so bad?"

"Not hurting you is my only priority. Pleasure doesn't even make the list."

"Well, I obviously don't want to get hurt either. But _both_ our pleasure is on my list. Literally." I tapped the paper in my lap to emphasize my point. He paused in thought.

"So... some skin contact," he allowed. "In moderation, at least while we desensitize."

"Agreed. We'll work up to things together." I smiled at my victory. This was going well so far.

"No surprises though, Bella. I'm not sure I could handle a surprise of that magnitude." I nodded solemnly.

"So, speaking of skin contact," I led into my next topic then completely lost my nerve. As far as I was concerned, I really didn't have anywhere I wouldn't want him to touch me. But I knew this would be a sensitive topic with him. "Um, I'm okay if you want to touch me." His eyes widened slightly. I flamed red. Gah. This was coming out all wrong. I sounded ridiculous.

Although most people probably wouldn't have noticed, I sensed a slight edge of panic from him. Now his eyes were a little too tight and his shoulders tensed just a fraction. The reaction from him would have equaled me wringing my hands in nervousness.

"What I mean is, I want you to touch me. If you want to, I mean. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do, but I want you to know that I want you to, if you do. Want to." I internally rolled my eyes at myself. Edward thankfully refrained from laughing and his eyes remained serious, but nervous. I looked at him helplessly. I was going to die on the spot from embarrassment.

"You're giving me permission to touch you intimately, should I so desire?" He clarified for me.

"Yes," I breathed, relieved.

At least he understood what I was trying to say. Why couldn't I have said it like that? He didn't move or say anything. I couldn't read his face and I bit my lip, unsure. What was he thinking? His eyes were scanning my face, but his own was unreadable.

"Did I offend you?" I asked hesitantly.

Surprised at my question, he reached out to stroke my face with his fingers. "No, love. Of course not." He reassured me. He leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. "You just surprised me is all. As is becoming par for the course with you." He chuckled, but I could tell he was still unsettled.

I waited for further clarification from him. Or acceptance of my offer. Nothing. The seconds ticked by.

Okay, well, how about a reciprocal offer? I was dying to know if he felt comfortable with me touching him, but I wasn't brave enough to ask. If his eyes were any indication, his mind was racing. But he wasn't sharing his thoughts. Deciding I wasn't going to get any more out of him on the subject, I moved on.

We hashed through some more details - some old ones, like no getting near his razor sharp teeth - an ongoing disappointment that we just had to live with. And some new ones, like his willingness to be a little less careful with his touches and kisses. I assured him I wasn't quite as fragile as glass and would speak up immediately if he was hurting me in any way.

With all these things agreed upon and half the night spent talking, I fell into an exhausted but hopeful sleep in the arms of my fiancé.

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. I am not receiving any compensation other than the pleasure of playing with the wonderfully angsty creations of Stephenie Meyer. **


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

The day had gone surprising well, all things considered. Charlie had the weekend off and the three of us spent the day fishing. With Alice's blessing, we prepared for the 'surprise' invite Charlie had been planning for days. I appreciated that he was trying to make an effort to learn to like his future son-in-law. And though I hadn't gone fishing with Charlie since I was five, I wanted to spend some time bonding with him before the wedding.

To Charlie's surprise, but not to Edward's or mine, we hadn't caught anything the entire morning. Charlie groused the whole morning about how he'd never experienced a day without a single catch at his lucky fishing hole. Edward had already filled me in that the local fish population would probably shy away from his presence even in the boat. I was impressed by the intuitiveness of fish.

After lunch, I feigned sea sickness, which allowed Edward and I to stay on the shore. Charlie miraculously caught his fill alone in the boat. It was a win-win while Edward and I laid out lake-side enjoying each other's company.

We stopped at the diner on the way home. Edward made his food disappear from his plate seamlessly. Even paying attention, I couldn't figure out how he was doing it. He caught my extra looks and smiled at me, the picture of innocence. I made a mental note to ask about that trick.

We arrived home to an already late evening. As Edward drove away from my house, I started the count down until he returned to slip silently into my bedroom. Tonight, we would start our desensitizing therapy. I was a ball of nervous energy. It was a good thing Charlie wasn't more observant or he would have wondered what was wrong with me. I sat with Charlie without seeing the television, too caught up in my own thoughts. When he finally turned it off and headed upstairs, the time had flown by.

I rushed upstairs, careful not to trip, and headed into the shower. By the time I was finished and returning to my room, I could hear Charlie's snores floating softly down the hall. I smiled, expecting Edward to be in my room before I was. He didn't disappoint.

I laughed when I saw him in his white tee shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. He smiled back in return and did a slow spin for me, fashion show style. I tried not to ogle his behind too obviously. In my defense, I doubted anyone had ever looked better in sleep wear.

"Alice works fast," I noted, impressed. "I didn't know there was such a thing as same day shipping."

"She had a bit more of a head start than that. She saw that I would ask her as soon as I decided to during our conversation yesterday." 

"Oh. That's -" I was about to say 'convenient' until realization dawned on me. Alice had undoubtedly seen more of our conversation that just Edward's desire for new pajamas. A blush flamed across my skin. Edward gathered me into his arms, his chest cooling my over-heated cheeks.

"I know it's embarrassing, but you'll have to get used to the dynamics of your new family. There's no privacy and no secrets. We all know embarrassing things about everyone else and we do our best to give each other space." I nodded, trying to muster up an objective perspective. "I'm afraid, I'm the worst offender. Unintentionally, of course."

"I know. It's just embarrassing that your whole family knows the details on our conversations about private stuff." He nodded in agreement, releasing me.

"At least you can't hear my embarrassing thoughts," I unthinkingly consoled myself. He frowned, but let it go without comment.

With an apologetic grin, I sat down on the bed as Edward turned down the covers for me. We slipped into bed together. I laid on my back and he on his side facing me, his head propped on his hand.

"I like your pajamas. In case I didn't say that earlier," I offered. I couldn't think of anything more intelligent to say.

"Thanks." He smiled down at me and stroked my face with his fingertips. "I enjoyed our day together, in case I didn't say that earlier."

"Me too." We stared into each other's eyes for a while as he stroked my face and gently moved strands of stray hairs back into place. I tried to figure out a way to get our newest project started. 'Ready, Set, Go' seemed a bit awkward.

"Kiss me?" I finally asked him.

His eyes twinkled at my request. "With pleasure."

_That's the idea,_ I thought just before his lips touched mine.

His kiss was as soft and sensuous as ever. I melted into his familiar lips, blissfully happy. I wasn't sure how exactly to start escalating the situation into this desensitizing business. Again, Edward saved the day and took the initiative.

His hand slid down my arm to rest on my hip, leaving a trail of goose bumps. He'd done this in the meadow, but his touch still sent electricity shooting through my body. He didn't stop there.

His hand guided me, with the slightest of pressure at my hip, so I was facing him on my side. It slid around to the small of my back as he gently scooted his whole body closer to mine.

It didn't escape my notice that he moved toward me rather than the more natural motion of pulling me toward him. He treated me too fragilely. The thought didn't linger, as every line of our bodies connected gently.

I could feel his solid chest against mine and our stomachs and hips were touching. I slid my arm around his back to hold him to me.

"Is this okay?" he whispered.

Instead of answering, I slid my leg slightly between his own. He hooked his foot around the back of my calf, completely our tangle quite nicely. I responded by pressing my body more firmly against him.

He moved his hand just a fraction lower on my back, sort of resting in the dip between my back and my butt. A jolt of excitement ran down my entire body. This was already so intense and we hadn't even really done anything. I tilted my head up to meet his lips and we kissed, holding each other tightly.

His lips were soft, but unyielding. We moved in unison, stroking and tasting each other. Soft kisses intermingled with deeper ones. He kept his teeth firmly away from my humanly fragile skin, but our lips danced together.

I broke away from his mouth, remembering the need to breathe. I felt almost smug in my Edward induced high. This was going great.

He continued to kiss down my throat as his hands stroked tender paths along my back. Once I had regained my breath, I formed a plan in my head. We kissed as my fingers inched lower and toyed with the bottom of his shirt. I deliberately played there for a while as I worked up the courage to touch his skin directly. Inching my hand under his shirt, I stroked my fingers along the bare skin of his lower back.

His flesh was cool to my touch, and so smooth it felt soft. Fascinated, I traced lazy patterns on his bare skin. I continued tickling his smooth skin as his lips my traversed my neck.

Wanting more and not clearly thinking about my actions I shifted my body weight backwards, attempting to pull him on top of me. He froze, suddenly tense. I feared he was about to disappear from my arms. I froze in response, not sure what to do.

I stopped trying to pull him on top of me, literally giving him space. I kept my entire body still, waiting. When he didn't bolt, I carefully resumed stroking the skin of his back with my fingertips. I silently berated myself for pushing too fast.

After a moment of relaxed contact, he seemed to regain his control and brought his lips back to mine. We kissed gently.

Crisis averted, we began to kiss more deeply. This time, he surprised me when he gently pressed me onto my back and lowered himself over me. With his hands on either side of me, I could barely feel his weight at all.

We continued to kiss passionately. The gentle weight of him against me was driving me to the brink of my control. His tongue teased softly against my lips and my self control flew out the window. My hands abandoned their careful stroking and without thinking they snaked around into his silky hair, tangling into the bronze strands. The feel of it running between my fingers was amazing.

With one hand firmly planted in his hair, I slid the other down to his scrumptious behind. I parted my lips slightly wanting his tongue deeper. I wanted more. When he pulled back, I ran the tip of my tongue along his bottom lip. The taste of him was amazing. I needed more. My body ached.

"Snickerdoodle," he whispered urgently. I froze. I had totally lost control of myself. I released my hold on him and he turned over onto his back next to me.

"I'm so sorry, Edward." I rubbed my heels over my eyes in frustration. "Everything was going so well, and I just totally lost it. I didn't even think about what I was doing."

I mentally berated myself for my lack of control. Edward was in control of himself - what was my problem? I heard him exhale next to me.

"Look at me, Bella."

He turned toward me and gently moved my hands away from my eyes. His eyes were golden and soft.

"You are amazing. This is more than I ever dreamed of in a hundred years. It just surprised me and I panicked. This is exactly what the plan was, remember? Work at this until we hit a barrier."

"Don't try and take the blame for that one. It was all me." I countered.

"Don't feel bad, I've heard that I dazzle people," he joked.

I snorted.

"We just need to practice at it," he concluded with a soft smile.

"I'm willing to put in the hours if you are." I smiled back. Practicing didn't sound so bad.

His eyebrow quirked up and he smiled. He kissed the tip of my nose effectively signaling the end of our desensitizing session. Determined not be frustrated, I tried to think of ways to improve next time.

"I think it might help if I keep my hands out of your hair. It's so soft. And silky. I just lose control when I touch it."

"My hair?" he laughed. "I quite like the feeling of your hands in my hair, actually. But all right. No touching my hair. At least not until we can work on your ability to remain calm under pressure."

It was my turn to laugh. We were quite the pair. I relaxed, knowing that we were making progress. This was going to be okay. Some unknown well of courage spurred me into asking for feedback.

"Was it all right that I was touching your bare skin like that? It seemed like it surprised you at first."

"Yes. That was better than okay." He kissed me tenderly again. "And you eased into it, so it wasn't a surprise. Honestly, it requires so much of my concentration to keep my teeth away from your skin while we're kissing. I was afraid that I would focus too much on that and lose control some other way."

I nodded seriously.

"Actually, I think the bigger problem was when you tried pulling me on top of you." I blushed, but he continued on. "I wasn't prepared for that."

"I'm sorry. I can't control myself sometimes," I apologized lamely.

"Don't be sorry. It was just a surprise. Yet another reason why it would be convenient to read your thoughts."

"Oh, no. You _really_ don't want to hear the thoughts I'm having about you when we're together like that. " 

He didn't answer, but his eyes did darken a shade. I felt my heart skip a beat in response.

He leaned in and captured my lips with his own. Soon enough I was feeling light headed and pulled away for oxygen.

"It's not fair to tease me with the idea of those kinds of thoughts running around in your head. You have no idea what that does to me."

"Sorry," I whispered.

"Would you please stop apologizing?" he teased.

"Well then I'm sorry I turned into Attack Bella earlier. I know I shouldn't push you. I know you are scared that you'll hurt me"

"I already told you, you are amazing. And sharing this with you is amazing. Please don't be sorry for being human and breakable. I'm the one who should be apologizing for the risk I bring into this relationship."

Even though he refrained from saying it, I knew he was mentally cataloguing all the horrible ways he could accidentally injure or kill me. He shook his head, clearing away the haunting look from his eyes.

"If anyone should apologize, it would be me. If I were a normal, human boyfriend, we wouldn't be having to work so hard at this." There was the guilt I knew would shortly follow.

I took his hand into my own and kissed it, reaffirming my love for him. This was a conversation we had too many times to re-hash now. He sighed, giving up that particular line of self-guilt.

"It was just thoroughly distracting. In an amazing and intensely human way. But, I think I can be better prepared for that next time, now that I know what to expect. The safe word helped."

"But you didn't use it the first time - when you froze. You only used it when I went all crazy 'Attack Bella'. Really, I should have been the one who realized I was out of control."

"I thought about using it the first time. I suppose it made me feel more secure, just knowing it was there. But I realized I wasn't so far gone that I needed the safe word after all."

"Hmm. That's interesting that it helped without actually using it. Then, I'm glad it worked. Twice."

We were both lost in our own thoughts for a moment, before I addressed his earlier comment.

"And, I don't think you're as heavy as you think you are. You aren't going to smoosh me. I could barely feel your weight on me."

"Smoosh?" He laughed quietly. "That's not really a word."

I shook my head in disagreement.

"Regardless, it's a theory for another day, I suppose."

"I love you, Edward." I yawned, tired from a long day 

"And I, you. My Bella."

And with the happy thought of testing theories another day, I soon drifted into dreams of kissing Edward.

**AN: If you're about to scroll down and add this story to your favorites or your alerts, read this first! There's this nifty little white box above those alert buttons. All you do is write something nice in there and hit submit. It will send your nice thoughts and feedback over the interwebs to the author. And the author will be happy. It works, I promise :D**


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Because it was sunny outside and the entire population of Forks was out enjoying the beautiful summer day, my day had been spent on wedding planning. I was exhausted. I had been roped into answering a million questions and making twice as many decisions about the wedding. Alice insisted that I approve every little detail. I didn't even know how there could be so many options for napkin rings.

My nightly shower hadn't helped with my exhaustion. The warm steam and massaging water just made me more tired. I flopped onto my bed and buried my face in my pillow. I just needed to wait for Charlie to fall asleep, then Edward would be here and all would be well. Utilizing my favorite time-killing activity, I closed my eyes and starting thinking about Edward.

I awoke some time later, disoriented in the dark room. I was sprawled completely ungracefully across my entire bed. My arms and legs splayed over opposite sides of the mattress. I gathered in my limbs and sat up stiffly, stretching my neck. I must have fallen asleep. I must not have been asleep for that long judging by how tired I felt.

I automatically looked for Edward, who I found sitting in the rocking chair by my window. An open book lay in his lap. He looked at me warily.

"Hi," I said.

"Are you awake?"

"Umm, yes?" What a weird question to ask.

"What's your name?"

"Bella." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"What is eight plus five?" he quizzed.

"Thirteen?" Was I dreaming? This was the strangest conversation I'd ever had.

Edward smiled and moved to sit next to me on the bed. I started at him quizzically. If I asked him to pinch me, would he do it if he wasn't a dream? Or if he was a dream, maybe I should ask for a kiss instead.

"What's my name?" He continued with the strange questions.

"Edward Mason Cullen. Why are you asking me all these questions?"

"I thought you were awake last time. I just wanted to be sure."

He leaned in and kissed me on the lips.

"What do you mean by 'last time'? What did I say?" I suddenly had visions of all the embarrassing things I could say while asleep.

"It's more what you did," he hesitated.

"Did?" A little red flag went off in my brain. What did he mean?

My panic was rising. He looked away sheepishly. I swear he'd be blushing if he could.

"What did I DO, Edward? Tell me before I imagine something worse than what happened. It's bad, isn't it? Just tell me."

He ran his hands over my shoulders, attempting to calm me.

"I should start by saying that, in my defense, I had no idea you could be asleep and have your eyes open and moving around. The sleep talking I'm more familiar with. Even still, it took me a long time to realize you were still sleeping."

I groaned. It must have been bad.

"When I came in, you were already asleep. You were clearly exhausted from a long day of wedding planning, so I didn't want to disturb you. But you woke up when I laid on the bed next to you."

He clasped his hands in his lap. I swallowed, waiting for the punch line.

"You started kissing me. Your aggressiveness was a bit out of character, but I was willing to go with it."

This was like a nightmare. He hesitated, clearly deciding if he should go on.

"There's more?" I asked horrified.

He nodded.

"Go on." I buried my head in my hands, waiting for the worst of it.

"Your hands started, um, roaming. You were saying the strangest things. That was when I first started to wonder if you were fully aware of what you were doing. When I pulled away from you, you started trying to take your clothes off. I successfully stopped you from doing more of that, but then you started trying to take mine off."

"Oh God." I smacked my forehead. Make it stop.

He gathered my hands in his own, presumably to keep me from hurting myself.

"Anyway, eventually I realized that you must be in some kind of sleep-walking state because your actions were so out of character. I held you in my arms and eventually, you fell back asleep. I think it was stress induced. I've been sitting over there ever since, making sure you didn't wake up and do anything rash."

"Edward, I am so sorry. I haven't had a sleep walking episode since I was seven at Amber McNeill's slumber party. My mom made me go and I was strung out on too much sugar and not enough sleep. It was so embarrassing, but this is so much worse. I am so mortified."

"I'm sorry I let you get so stressed that this happened to you. It won't happen again, I promise. I didn't know this was a potential side effect of a day spent on wedding planning."

"Me either."

"Well, it did prove one thing." His lips were curling up in humor.

"What's that?" I asked cautiously.

"I'm apparently not going to smoosh you after all."

I smacked my forehead again for good measure. This was like finding out you had an evil twin.

"I don't remember any of this."

"I know," he smiled. His eyes were alight with mischief. "I must admit, it was fun to hear your thoughts all uncensored. You were quite eager to tell me what was on your mind."

I closed my eyes, willing this to be a dream. A really bad dream that I could wake up from right now.

"You're not going to tell me what I said, are you?" I accused.

He shook his head and motioned zipping his lips closed. He threw away the key over his shoulder. Now he thought he was a comedian. Perfect.

"You're just going to torture me with this forever?"

He nodded, smiling.

"How do I know you're not just making this all up, then?"

He put on a look of injured pride. When I didn't relent, he pointed to the floor next to the bed. The bra I went to bed in lay discarded on the floor. I kicked it swiftly under the bed and crossed my arms over my shirt, suddenly aware of a lack of support.

"I could have just done that on my own," I reasoned without hope.

"Oh, you did. All on your own." He smirked at me. I gulped. I decided it was time for a graceful retreat.

"Fine. I believe you. I was just hoping it wasn't true. This is so humiliating." I face flopped into my bed, burying my red-faced shame in my pillow.

"I thought it was rather enlightening, actually," he whispered in my ear.

I growled in frustration at him through the pillow. He chuckled.

"If I promise to put my ill-gotten knowledge to good use, will you forgive me?"

Now that sounded interesting. I turned over to see where he was going with this.

"How do I know it won't just be more embarrassing 'Evil Bella' moments?"

He leaned in to whisper in my ear. "I think I liked Evil Bella. She is quite the temptress."

I held my breath, eager for whatever he was planning. He leaned in and kissed my forehead.

"I think it would be prudent for me to work on earning your forgiveness another night. This one has already been quite eventful."

With that, he released me and moved away from the bed.

"Sleep well, my little temptress."

My heart eventually returned to a more normal pace and I fell into an fitful sleep.

**AN: I hope you all enjoyed this humorous little evening. Thanks for the reviews! Makes my heart happy and my fingers fly...**


	5. Chapter 5

AN: SORRY! I posted a chapter from the wrong story last night. This is the right story.

So far my summer was going great. The weather had been unusually sunny, but the Cullens had plenty of creative ideas to keep entertained out of the public eye. I thought back to my day of hiking. Well, more like piggy back riding. We had hiked in the woods behind their home until we came to a beautiful cascading waterfall.

Edward and I watched from the other cliff as his siblings and even Carlisle and Esme had traversed to the head of the falls. The each took a turn diving from the cliff into the water below. They each received a score based on the number of flips, twists and turns they were able to complete.

Edward kept track of those and I gave a fairly arbitrary score based on style. Alice received bonus points for a beautiful dive, Emmett received no points for his wave inducing belly flop. Although Edward argued that he should receive minus points. I might admit to padding in a few extra points for Rosalie to avoid offending her. Surprisingly, Jasper was declared the winner with his number of flips and twists outstripping the others.

Charlie had invited Edward over for dinner which I was currently cooking in the kitchen. I encouraged him to sit with Charlie to bond over the baseball game. Sounds of genuine male bonding and excited banter floated into the kitchen. I was happy they were getting along better. Charlie was really making an effort. I sniggered to myself when I heard Charlie encouraging Edward to go out for the town's baseball team.

When dinner was almost ready, I began to set the table. Edward appeared in the kitchen doorway to help me set out the dishes, explaining that the baseball game was on commercial break. My steal interrupted the game, and Charlie kept an eye on it from the kitchen table.

Charlie's appreciative noises were his usual praise for my steak, grilled potatoes and salad meal. Edward kept up with his own compliments. I accepted both in silence. I did see that Edward actually ate each bite of steak he raised to his lips. He smiled at me when he caught me watching him and gave me some extra appreciative noises. Charlie didn't seem to notice.

I just shook my head, feeling sorry for putting him through this. Charlie hurriedly finished his food and returned to the game. Mine and Edward's plates were still half full. I silently cleared his plate giving him an apologetic look.

"Don't worry about it," he whispered.

When clean up couldn't be dragged out any longer, we sat together on the couch until the end of the game. When it finished Charlie stood up, declaring it a night. He gave Edward an expectant look and Edward rose quickly shaking his hand.

He thanked me for dinner and I walked him to the door. Grabbing our jackets I walked outside with him and closed the door behind us. We stood on the porch like any other normal couple who wasn't expecting to see each other in about twenty minutes.

Edward tapped his ear indicating that Charlie was listening. I decided that it would be appropriate for an engaged couple to participate in some farewell kissing. Edward obliged with a smile.

"I'll be back as soon as Charlie is asleep," he whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"Thank you for dinner," he said out loud. "It was delicious." I rolled my eyes.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said a little too loudly. It was his turn to roll his eyes, and we shared a smile.

"I love you," he said seriously. He raised my hand to his lips and kissed each of my knuckles, his eyes locked with mine.

"I love you too," I whispered, knowing he could hear me.

I watched him walk down the stairs. With a final wave he got into his Volvo and pulled away from the house. I walked back into the house and hung up my damp coat by the door as Charlie watched me out of the corner of his eye.

"What?" I finally asked.

He turned off the game and stretched again. In an uncharacteristic display, he hugged me.

"I'm just glad you're happy, Bells."

He patted my back awkwardly before releasing me and heading up to his room. His display of emotion caught me off guard and I smiled fondly at his retreating back. I followed him upstairs, ready for my shower and to prepare see Edward again soon.

Charlie must have been taking longer to fall asleep than normal. I filled my time reading while I waited for Edward. He came in almost an hour later.

Quiet as the night, he slipped through my bedroom window. My breathe caught at the sight of him. He was just too beautiful. I realized it was one of the few times I'd actually caught him in the act of coming through the window. Usually, I turned around and there he was, waiting for me.

Unsurprisingly, he was incredibly graceful as he swung his legs through the window, his arm leveraging his weight on the sill. He landed soundlessly on my floor and closed the window behind him. He looked at me softly, knowing I was watching him.

"Hey," I greeted, setting my book down beside me. "I was beginning to wonder if you got eaten by a mountain lion." He laughed and sat next to me on my bed placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Sorry I took a little longer than I would have liked." So it wasn't Charlie that caused the delay.

"Everything okay?" I asked him.

"Yes." He kissed me again. "I just had to take care of your delicious dinner first," he smiled, taking the sting out of his potential insult. I didn't take it personally. "Then I wanted to brush my teeth and change. One thing led to another..."

It sounded like there was more to that story, but I didn't want to meddle in his business. He'd tell me if it was important. He picked up my book, taking its spot on the bed next to me.

"Jane Eyre again?" He fingered the well worn cover.

"It's a classic," I defended.

"It's just one of the many things I find endlessly fascinating about you."

"Can you blame me? The main love interest's name is Edward."

"A common name for the period," he teased.

"I know. Actually, it was a bit frustrating, back when I was fascinated with you but you weren't speaking to me yet. Every book I picked up had your name. I couldn't even find solace in my favorite activity without thinking of you."

His eyes lit up with some revelation.

"I think you just solved a little mystery for me. I must admit to stalking you a little bit during that period."

My eyes widened at the admission. Had he really been as obsessed with me as I was with him?

"One particularly frustrating day I saw you lay out in your back yard with a book. You seemed frustrated with it and eventually gave up on reading it. You fell asleep as I watched you from the shadows. I always wondered what you were thinking."

Having only done that once on an unusually sunny day, I knew immediately the day he was thinking of. He was right. I was frustrated because everyone in the book was named Edward or something similar. It had obviously reminded me of him and I had fallen asleep with fitful dreams. Wow.

"I watched you sleep as the hours passed and the shadows crept toward you. I couldn't decide if you were my own personal devil or something else entirely. I was tempted to follow the shadows closer and closer to touch you. I tried to rationalize that I just wanted to see what you were reading. To just unravel some small mystery of your brain."

He smiled softly and touched my forehead.

"But I wasn't sure if I could resist the temptation to drag you away into the forest. I thought it was very symbolic at the time." He shook his head, remembering. "I always suspected you sensed my presence when you woke so suddenly."

"I think I did, somehow. I remember feeling watched." Goose bumps ran down my arms realizing the truth of the situation. I had been so near to Edward and didn't even know it. I shivered.

He pulled me into the circle of his arms. It was hard to imagine a time when these arms wouldn't have held me with love and protection. But I knew my present day Edward was still dwelling on the difficulties of the past.

I turned my thoughts forward, thinking of plans for tonight. First, I needed to pull Edward into the present. He wasn't going to be very cooperative if he was still remembering the days where he wanted to 'drag me into the forest'. Hmmm, perhaps that had potential. I briefly considered ways I could leave the house with Edward rather than him sneaking in. I put the thought aside for another night.

For now, I wanted to focus on tonight.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, always unsure how to start things. His arm wound around me and I settled further against his chest. Our free hands intertwined on his leg, gently playing with each other's fingers. We stayed that way for a few minutes, my heart beating faster and faster in anticipation. How could I get this moving?

"Got something on your mind, love?" He chuckled.

I looked up at his face. He knew. He knew I what I was thinking about, but too shy to start anything. And he was holding out on purpose to make me uncomfortable.

I frowned at him and he laughed. Something in my brain snapped and I kissed him hard on the lips. He pulled back a fraction, surprised. I followed, maintaining my dominance. I'd show him.

Our lips never parted as I shifted to kneel on the bed next to him. His arms twined around my waist. He was letting me control our touches. I continued to kiss him soundly as I placed my hands on either side of his face. The position was a little awkward with his legs still over the side of my bed. I pushed against him, wanting him to lie back.

He complied and I smiled at the control he was giving me, following him down to the bed with my lips. His hands travelled slowly up and down my arms as we kissed.

I broke away from his kisses and treated him to my favorite distraction as I kissed along his face. I peppered his cheeks, eyes and forehead with light kisses. He closed his eyes, enjoying my attentions.

His face fairly covered in kisses, I started on his neck. I wondered why I had never tried this before. Being in control was fabulous. And I felt completely in control of myself. He was delicious and being able to kiss him anywhere was amazing. I remembered somewhere in the back of my brain that I was usually hyperventilating when we kissed. This was a nice change.

I held his face in my hands running my thumbs along the lines of his strong jaw. I tilted his head for better access. I kissed him, allowing my tongue to touch softly along his lips. He opened his eyes in surprise. They were the darkest amber.

I kissed him again, using my tongue a little more with each pass. I was careful to kiss him softly and slowly, never pushing anything too far. I knew better than to get near his teeth.

His hands tangled into my hair, holding me to him. I continued kissing and stroking his lips. I nearly gasped when I felt the soft tip of his tongue against my own lips.

"Careful, love," he whispered.

I knew he was pushing against a boundary he had been scared of, for good reason. I resolved to be very, very careful. I didn't want to ruin this.

I kissed him again, tentatively connecting our tongues within my open mouthed kisses. We both moaned at the new contact.

We moved like this for a while, our lips and tongues gently connecting. The soft feel of him was amazing. The taste of him was exquisite.

He was tentative at first, exploring this new boundary. I coaxed him with my mouth, drawing him out further. Soon he was exploring my lips and tongue with his own, always careful of the dangers. My whole body tingled with pleasure.

After an indeterminable amount of time, he pulled away softly.

"Amazing," he said simply. His eyes were shining with love.

"Amazing, I repeated.

I glanced at the clock and sighed, realizing how late it already was. I knew what was coming next. Bedtime for the human. I rested my head against his chest, my whole body tingling with the sensation of him. He pulled me carefully into his side. I was laid next to him allowing our bodies to meld together gently.

In a smooth motion, he picked me up and repositioned us on the bed. I laid my head on the pillow as he covered us with the blanket. He kissed me goodnight, humming my lullaby softly in my ear.

I drifted into sleep, pleased with our progress tonight. I had been in control of myself and had helped us discover we could push past a boundary we thought previously set in stone.

It was a good night.

**AN: I'll be traveling this weekend, so I wanted to post this chapter for you all. Good old fashioned fluffy fun. You'll get a new chapter on Monday. Remember to use the magic white comment box. It's easier than fantasizing about Edward, and we all know how easy that is...**


	6. Chapter 6

I turned the shower handle to the off position cutting off the shower I'd been enjoying so leisurely. I'd been killing time until Charlie went to sleep and my beloved snuck back into my room for the night. I was exfoliated, shaved, washed, shampooed and loofah'd - all thanks to Alice's shopping and careful product explanations, of course. My desire to kill time had led me to pull out the arsenal of bath products for the first time.

I'd enjoyed the leisurely shower time to think of Edward and my favorite time of day- or rather night. When I got to spend time with him all to myself. Just as soon as Charlie went to sleep. Which should be soon now.

I drew back the shower curtain and stepped out into the bathroom. I used my usual two towels, one wrapped around my body and one wound around my head for my wet hair. I went through the rest of my night time routine before I realized that I had left my clean underwear and pajamas in my bedroom.

Shaking my head at myself for my absent mindedness, I left the bathroom and headed down the hall to my room. I narrowly avoided an awkward encounter with Charlie, heading into his own room. Luckily he didn't even look over his shoulder as he called out his usual 'night Bells' and closed his bedroom door behind him.

I walked into the safety of my own room, thankful I was spared that particular embarrassment with Charlie while in my towel. I flipped my head down to finish towel drying my hair and felt proud of my coordination as I simultaneously closed the door with my foot. I tossed the towel onto the back of my desk chair and tossed my damp hair over my shoulder. And froze in shock at the sight in front of me.

Edward was standing, wide-eyed in my bedroom. His body was half turned toward me and half toward the window as if he didn't know which way he was going. I barely contained a gasp at the surprise of seeing Edward standing in my bedroom unexpectedly. One hand flew to cover my mouth and my other hand clutched my towel closed. We stared at each other for the length of one beat of my erratic heart.

"What are you doing here?" I breathed.

Edward remained frozen, staring at me wide eyed. His eyes were as round as saucers and dark. He was wide eyed as he stared back into my eyes. I could see the conflicting emotions roll across his face. His hand twitched, the only movement on his unnaturally still body. In a movement almost too quick for me to see, he bolted out of my open window.

After recovering from the shock and reassuring myself that I wasn't imagining his unexpected presence - the still open window helped - I dressed and sat on the edge of my bed. I silently berated myself for waltzing around nearly naked and then for acting so alarmed at his presence that he felt the need to jump out of my window.

Yes, it was an awkward moment, but I could have made things easier. Why did I have to go forgetting my clothes in the first place? I realized with even more regret that he would take my surprised exclamation as an accusation. I still hadn't completely calmed when Edward returned about ten minutes later.

With my back purposefully to the window, I didn't know he was in the room until he sat gingerly next to me on the bed. Even though I knew he would be coming, I couldn't muster up the courage to look at him. Instead I continued twisting my fingers in my lap. The weight on the mattress next to me and the tingle along the left side of my skin were all that gave away his presence. The room was entirely silent.

He finally cleared his throat. I knew it was an unnecessary action for him. It only increased my anxiety and I'm sure he could hear every beat of my heart to confirm it.

"I'm not sure of the right way to apologize for showing up in your room before you were prepared for a visitor. But I assure you, I wasn't trying to see you without your clothes on."

I flushed red instantly. It made him more nervous, which made me more embarrassed.

"What I mean is- I had a surprise for you. But I would never - not that I don't want to -but you didn't..."

He took a steadying breath. Another unnecessary action my mind noted with rising panic.

"I can't even apologize coherently. I'm sorry. "

I nodded, still not able to meet his gaze. He was clearly flustered. I hadn't heard him this inarticulate, ever. And I was just getting redder and redder. I tried to breathe evenly to control my own embarrassment. I'm sure the extra blood flow wasn't helping him remain calm either.

"And I'm sorry I just jumped out your window like that. Without an explanation or anything. I'm afraid I showed my age a bit there. I was just so shocked to see you like that, and I didn't know what to do. Then my very Victorian upbringing came crashing back in on me all of a sudden and I jumped out your window like some vaudeville villain." He laughed once, humorlessly.

I watched from the corner of my eye as he ran his hand through his unruly hair. I finally mustered up enough courage to look him in the eye- if only to let him off the hook.

"No, really. I'm the one that should be apologizing. I forgot my clothes in my room and I knew you were coming - I should have been more careful. I was just surprised is all. And I couldn't even tell you that it wasn't your fault before you had to leap out the window to get away from me. Really it's not your fault."

I rushed through my own apology and my words stumbled into each other in my rush. Was I even making sense. A horrible thought dawned on me just then. What if he thought I had done it on purpose? Did he think it was all planned?

"I'm so sorry I made you uncomfortable, I promise I didn't set this up on purpose! I know you didn't _want_ to see me like that and it's all my fault!"

If he didn't have super hearing, he might not have understood my desperate, high pitched, words. I snapped my mouth shut before I further embarrassed myself and waited for his reaction, watching his face.

He laughed. The unexpected reaction took most of the tension out of the air. I'm sure I looked confused at his unexpected change in emotion.

"Oh , Bella. Trust me - I definitely _want_ to see you like that. It makes me 'uncomfortable' in a completely different way than you think."

He gathered me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. I felt him inhale deeply as I blushed from a whole new type of embarrassment.

"I just don't trust my self control when it comes to you. You are simply too irresistible and it's getting harder and harder for me to _want_ to wait until our wedding to show you how irresistible you really are."

His voice was soft, just barely a whisper. His intensity shook me. I took a steadying breath as he kissed the inside of my wrist.

"And I must insist on taking full responsibility for what happened. I shouldn't have come early and unannounced. I heard Charlie heading upstairs and I was just eager to see you."

"What are we going to do with ourselves? We're such a mess," I laughed.

"We have eternity to sort it out," he consoled, kissing up the inside of my arm. I thrilled in his casual mention of our future together. This would have been a huge argument just a few months ago.

He paused when he reached the inside of my elbow, hovering over my pulse point and then releasing my arm. I took the opportunity to remember to breathe.

"Aren't you going to ask about my surprise?" he asked, teasingly.

"You know I hate surprises."

"Hmm." he agreed, sweeping my wet hair slowly from my neck and focusing his attentions there.

I tried to repress a small shiver, but I could feel his smile against my skin at my reaction to his touch.

"It's just as well, I suppose. Our emotions are running a bit high, currently. Perhaps what I had in mind would put us dangerously close to the edge of this cliff we are so eager to climb."

I could hear the teasing in his voice. He knew he was baiting me. Tempting me to ask him for the surprise. He continued to kiss and stroke my neck which neatly distracted me from his expectation of coherent thought. He paused and pulled back to look into my face. I opened my eyes to see a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Oh all right. I give. What surprise?"

"Alice seems to be in the mood for shopping, lately," he said.

"What? I don't understand what that has to do with your surprise."

Why were we talking about Alice's shopping obsession all of a sudden?

He chuckled at my confusion and moved himself so he was sitting behind me on the bed, his long legs on either side of my hips, hanging over the edge of my bed. I snuggled in closer against his marble chest, happy with the closeness.

He began stroking my shoulders gently with his capable hands. I hope he didn't expect me to participate in any logical conversation because all this attention was making my brain fuzzy.

"Well, it seems we've both decided to take her up on her latest shopping obsession- your skin smells amazing. Very complimentary to your natural scent. And it's quite intense with your wet hair."

I blushed. Talking about how I smell always caught me off guard. His responding deep inhalation only served to send my heart racing again.

"And I came here with something else Alice purchased." I followed the motion of his hand to look at the small assortment of bottles sitting on my desk. I hadn't noticed them before.

"What is it?" I asked, curious.

"Massage lotion."

"You're going to give me a massage?" An excited smile broke out across my face.

This was the best surprise ever. I would have to remember to thank Alice for her thoughtfulness. This was the type of surprise I could accept.

"Yes." He hesitated. "Well, not tonight. I would like to try, but I'm thinking it would be wise to wait for another night. Considering." The quick sweep of his hand referenced the emotional rollercoaster we had been on this evening.

"Hmmm," I tried to hide my disappointment.

"It's a nice change to see you actually excited about something I want to give you," his eyes twinkled with delight. "And, now you know why I feel like such a rascal. Showing up with massage lotion and catching you in your bath towel," he laughed. "A completely unintentional coincidence, I assure you. Although, I might have a word with Alice about that. She did remind me of her 'gift' and suggest I use it tonight."

He frowned with mock disapproval. I laughed out loud. The devious little pixie.

"Alright," I conceded. "Maybe tomorrow, then?"

"Tomorrow," he agreed. "We'll try."

"That's all I ask for." I smiled at him, my heart filling with love for this man. Our relationship was complicated, to say the least. Our physical relationship was confusing. And he was the best thing that had ever happened to me.


	7. Chapter 7

I had spent the day with Edward and his family at a secluded stretch of abandoned highway racing cars. Well, mostly I spent the day watching from safe distance while Rosalie fussed and tinkered over her cars and Emmett competed ferociously for bragging rights. The Cullen car collection was impressive. And fast.

Alice and Edward spent most of their time with me, alternating plying me with food or making me laugh. It had been wonderful, watching my vampire family sparkle in the sun and laugh with each other. Teasing, bragging and betting. But I couldn't keep my mind off of what Edward had promised me for tonight. I'm sure I was giving off waves of lust and longing that Jasper couldn't miss, even though he kept his usual distance. But I couldn't stop myself as I mused and daydreamed about our plans for the night.

Now, it was evening and I was just finishing up my shower. I was careful to bring my clothes with me tonight into the bathroom. I didn't want any repeat incidents delaying my promised massage. I had actually had a hard time deciding what to wear to bed tonight. What do you wear for a massage? I'm sure Edward wouldn't be allowing me to get naked - I blushed at the thought. But I still wanted to allow maximum access to my skin without making him uncomfortable.

I settled for my cotton pajama bottoms and a tank top in place of my usual oversized tee shirt. After some awkward internal debate, I added a bra to my ensemble. It had become my habit to wear a bra with Edward in my bed every night. I usually chose a comfortable sports bra, but tonight I wore a regular one. The kind that can come off more easily. I justified that maybe it would be needed for the massage. Then I flamed red.

I listened outside of Charlie's room to make sure he was asleep. His light snoring confirmed I would be seeing Edward when I went into my room. Sure enough, my angel sat on my bed waiting for me. He still looked so out of place in my normal, human bedroom. Even in his pajama bottoms and tee shirt, he was stunning.

He opened his arms for me as I closed the door quietly behind me. I set my toiletry bag on my desk and hurried into his embrace. The cool touch of his skin felt soothing on my shower warmed skin. He held me close on his lap, gently stroking my back. He seemed to be drinking in the extra warmth. A mutually beneficial arrangement for us both. The cool feel of his skin helped calm my overheated body.

"I missed you," I smiled up at him.

He chuckled and kissed me on the nose. "It's only been an hour since I left you, a mere drop in the bucket of my eternal life. And yet, I missed you too."

I buried my face into his solid chest, enjoying being held. I was unsure how to approach the subject of our agreed upon activity tonight. My heart started beating faster in anticipation.

"I see you've dressed for our activity tonight," Edward saved me the need to broach the subject.

"Is that okay? I mean, I wasn't sure what I should wear," I trailed off uncertainly.

In answer he kissed my bare shoulder just next to the thin strap of my tank top. "You're perfect," he said.

I snorted. He shook his head, but otherwise chose to ignore my response as he retrieved the massage lotion bottles from my desk.

"I'm reasonably certain I can do this without hurting you, but I want you to tell me if it's too rough. Can you promise me you'll tell me if it hurts even just a little bit?"

"Yes, I promise." I bit my lip in anticipation.

"Why don't you lay on your stomach?" He nodded at the bed, and I eagerly complied.

He settled onto the edge of the bed next to me with his feet on the floor. He moved my hair off my shoulders and laid it out gently to the side. The light touch sent a tingle of pleasure down my spine. With my face in the sheets, I couldn't see him anymore, but I heard him opening one of the bottles and rubbing some lotion between his hands.

"The lotion will still probably be a bit cold," he apologized softly. The lotion was cool on my shoulders, but not unpleasant, as he ran his hands over the skin there and down to the tops of my arms, applying the gentlest of pressure. I groaned in satisfaction. His hands froze.

"S'okay," I reassured. "Good noises. Very good." Reassured, his hands started moving again. They were like magic. His thumbs worked in gentle circles in all the right places, easing muscles I didn't know were tense. He focused on each of my arms, working down into the palms of my hands.

The massage on my hands tickled a little bit, but it felt so amazing. He worked his thumbs gently into my palms and rubbed down along each of my fingers. He ended with a kiss on each fingertip. I was surprised at how sensual it felt.

When he was finished rubbing all the available bare skin on my shoulders and arms, he paused unsure what to approach next. I laid there, completely relaxed but as always, hyper aware of him. He started rubbing again on my shoulders and then down over my back. He worked on my upper back for a few minutes, rubbing and caressing over my tank top. Every so often he would place a kiss on my shoulder or bare neck, sending a little jolt of electricity through my body.

His hands worked their way down to my lower back and up again along my spine. I nearly melted into the bed.

"Is the pressure too much?" He whispered softly, next to my ear. I shook my head, not wanting to break out of my pleasure coma. He kissed my ear, stroked a stray strand of hair out of my face and continued his ministrations on my back.

I bit my lip as I considered how to make my next move. I willed him to read my mind and know what I wanted, but I remained stubbornly mentally mute. If we were really going to work on this desensitizing thing, I knew I had to be brave.

Taking a breath to steel myself, I reached my hands to the bottom of my tank top and lifted it up a few inches to my mid back. My lower back was exposed, wordlessly inviting him to massage it. I held my breath and didn't dare open my eyes to see his reaction. My heart beat faster undoubtedly giving away my nervousness.

After a second, I felt the bed shift as he rubbed more lotion between his palms and rubbed the bare skin of my back. The room seemed electrified though neither of us had spoken.

"Snickerdoodle?" I asked him tentatively. He laughed softly and bent down to place a kiss in the small of my back.

"No, this is good," he whispered. The only noise was my breathing and the occasional creaking of my bed as he shifted his weight.

His hands were wonderfully cool along my overheated body as he rubbed circles into my skin. He continued filling all of my exposed skin with goose bumps of pleasure. His hands travelled up slowly underneath my tank top. I involuntarily caught my breath as he tickled his fingers along the bare skin of my back, up to the strap of my bra.

"Snickerdoodle?" he asked me back. I shook my head into the bed, not trusting my voice. He worked his fingers back and forth just below my bra strap. Eventually, his fingers slipped underneath the elastic band caressing the skin there. My breathing was heavy as my body tingled with the pleasure of his touch.

Channeling Evil Bella, I reached around to undo the hooks in my bra. His hand stopped mine before I could unlatch it.

"Bella," he warned, softly.

"I was just trying to get this out of the way for you. Nothing devious."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, " he hesitated.

Talking into the mattress somehow gave me greater confidence than if I had been looking into his eyes. I knew that they would mostly likely be darkened with his heighted emotions.

"If I promise not to turn over? Would that be okay? I just wanted to give you more room to massage."

We waited in our temporary stale mate with his hands still stopping mine from unhooking my bra. I lowered my hands down to my sides in defeat. I tried not to let this disappoint me. We were making so much progress. Just the fact that he was willing to try this massage was proof of that.

He paused long enough that I thought I had ruined the back rub all together, so it surprised me when he suddenly unhooked my bra clasp with a deft movement over my tank top. My heart raced thunderously. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I registered that it would have taken me a lot more fumbling and effort to undo it myself. He was good at everything.

He surprised me further when his hands ran up the sides of my arms hooking a finger into the strap at my shoulder. He ran a strap down each arm before pulling the bra out of my shirt completely. My heart pounded. I had not been expecting that. I was just going to unhook the back. I was suddenly glad I hadn't been clear on my intentions. This was so much better.

"Just, don't turn over for heaven's sake or I'm going to lose it." His voice was rough.

He was being too serious. Too intense. I knew that he needed to relax or this was going to end all too soon and we'd both feel like failures. I decided to lighten the mood a bit.

"Just how much practice have you with these, Edward? That was pretty smooth," I tried to sound accusing, but I'm not sure I managed it while hiding my pleased smile in the sheets.

"Ha. None, first hand. But I have seen the latching mechanism before and I've certainly spent way too much time listening to Emmett perfecting his 'moves'. In my case, it's really a matter of not applying too much pressure and crushing the whole clasp."

I 'uh huhed' at what I hoped were appropriate points in his explanation, but it was hard to focus on his words as his hands were currently busy doing the most amazing things on my back. At least he sounded less tense.

His hands returned to my skin and worked over my upper back and my sides. I ached with desire for more when his fingers trailed just inches from the sides of my breasts. I wondered if he realized how close he was to them. I wondered if he would be willing to touch me there.

His fingers slid along my sides tickling me and I squirmed. He repeated the motion on the other side and I squirmed again. I could feel his silent laughter shaking us.

After a while, he had me so relaxed, I started drifting in an out of consciousness. I woke up fully when he pulled my tank top back down covering my back. I stirred, mumbling my thanks for his skillful massage.

"Shh. You're tired and it's getting late," he whispered.

I nodded, realizing how tired I actually was. I slid myself to the edge of the bed, grabbing my bra from the floor. I groaned with annoyance at having to figure out how to put this back on under my shirt. There really wasn't a graceful way to do this while laying down. I should probably just get up and go do it in the bathroom. I sat up with my back to Edward, swinging my legs groggily off the side of the bed.

"Can I ask you a question?" He placed his hand gently on my back to keep me from leaving. I looked at him over my shoulder. He shifted uncomfortably and my interest was piqued. He was nervous about the question he wanted to ask. I bit my lip.

"I'm under the impression that women don't usually wear those at night." He nodded at the bra clutched in my hand. I swallowed thickly, now also nervous. I nodded, waiting for the question he wanted to ask. "Wouldn't you be more comfortable if you didn't wear it to bed?"

His words mimicked my own request regarding his pajamas. His eyes moved from the bra in my hand to my wide eyes. "If you don't want to, I mean. If it's not comfortable for you."

I nodded slowly. I was fully awake now. My breathing was heavy and my heart was beating wildly. I knew he could tell.

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly. Somehow this felt like a big deal. Like a turning point in our physical relationship.

He nodded.

"Okay," I agreed, dropping the bra on the ground next to the bed. I laid down and pulled the blanket up to my chin. I scooted over making room for Edward. He lay next to me and we settled into a spooning position on our sides. He hand wound carefully around my waist. I was definitely hyper-aware that there wasn't as much of a barrier as before between us.

"Sleep, my love. " He kissed me lightly and hummed my lullaby as I drifted into a blissful slumber.


	8. Chapter 8

Edward saved me from most of the pain, but I still spent a significant portion of the day dealing with wedding plans. I made it through heated discussions between Rosalie and Alice on different types of lace and the virtues of different shades of white. Edward finally cut Alice off when we started discussing alternative guest book options.

I had gladly spent the last few hours before dinner alone with Edward, tossing rocks into the river behind his house. We were chatting idly about his few remaining childhood memories.

I returned home to cook dinner for Charlie and spend a comfortably quiet evening together. I didn't mind the silence. It was a companionable existence with Charlie. And after the day spent talking with Alice about wedding plans, I was ready for a break.

I cleaned up in the kitchen, sending Charlie off to his nightly programming. I could hear sports of some kind coming from the living room and I let my mind wander aimlessly while I washed dishes and wiped counters. I stored the leftovers in the fridge for Charlie's lunch tomorrow.

I briefly considered trying to figure out a way to stock up the freezer with a year's worth of food. Charlie's diet was going to be awful after I couldn't cook for him anymore. I wouldn't be seeing him until I regained some kind of control over my thirst. Who was going to take care of Charlie? Why were there always choices and sacrifices to be made? I shook off the sadness of losing him to my new life. I would have to deal with those feelings later.

I focused on my plan for tonight as I headed up the stairs to get ready.

Freshly showered and dressed for the night, I listened intently for Charlie's snores. I couldn't hear anything, but Edward showed up in my room confirming that Charlie must be sleeping already. The sight of him in his pajamas brought a warm feeling into my heart. He didn't even need them, really. He was doing so much for me.

"I missed you."

"I missed you as well. How was dinner?" We exchanged our usual greetings before settling down on the bed together.

"So, what's on the desensitizing agenda for tonight, Ms. Swan?" Edward lay back on my bed with his hands behind his head. His foot was crossed over the opposite knee - the picture of ease. I knew better. But he was trying really hard to feel comfortable with this whole process.

"I thought that I could give you a massage tonight." It came out like a question, the last words unsure and high pitched. I had no idea if he would go for this.

"What would that be helping to desensitize?" He asked cautiously.

"Well, I thought you could take your shirt off, for starters. That would help me get used to seeing you..." I was about to say 'naked' but chickened out. "Seeing more of your skin. And you can desensitize to me touching you at the same time. "

He considered my argument. "I'm not sure how effective the actual massage will be on me. But it can't hurt, as they say. As long as you promise me you won't push so hard you break something."

"I'll be gentle on you," I teased.

"I meant don't break anything on _you_," he corrected. I gave him a look until he realized I was joking. He needed to relax a little. I had learned over the past nights that it was best to get Edward in the right frame of mind before we started. If he was tense and worried, things didn't go well.

"Okay ." Deep breath. "I'm ready. Take off your shirt."

He quirked his eyebrow at me, teasing me for my nervousness. I sat back on my heels on the bed, waiting for him to comply. _I will not jump him. I will not ogle him. I will not turn into Attack Bella. _

He sat up and removed his shirt at a human pace. Teasing me no doubt. I watched his abs contract and his biceps pull as he worked the shirt over his head. I had to remind myself not to drool. His body was perfect. And rock solid.

I wanted to reach out and run my fingers across his stomach muscles, just to feel the little ripples there. Or maybe his perfect square pecks. Strong, but not too big. His chest was defined. Yes, that was the word I was looking for. Or was it divine? His chest was divine. _Was my mouth hanging open?_

After a moment of watching me watch him, he turned over onto his stomach, politely ignoring my staring. _Right. Massage._ I reached for the massage lotion on the nightstand.

"I'm not sure that will help," he interjected. "My skin won't absorb it like yours does. But you can try it if you think it will help. We'll just have to wipe it off afterward." He shrugged his shoulders and I was temporarily distracted by the muscles there.

Reconsidering the lotion, I settled back onto my heels. I scooted closer to his side, kneeling next to him. His shoulders were broad. They angled down into a trim waist that was still wider than the span of my two hands together. I was momentarily distracted by the band of his pajama bottoms which hit just at his hips, accentuating the curve of his butt. I hadn't had enough opportunities to stare at his butt.

It was going to be awkward leaning over him trying to reach both of his shoulders with my hands. The easiest way would be if I straddled his back. I debated if I had enough courage to do that. Should I ask him first? Do I ask for permission or forgiveness?

I decided to just go for it and swung my leg over his hips, settling myself directly on his butt. I waited for a reaction, but he didn't say anything. He didn't seem to freak out and my weight certainly wasn't going to bother him.

Since he didn't object to my position, I focused on the task at hand. I decided to start with his shoulders and work my way down. I placed a hand on each of his cool shoulders and started kneading. I wasn't a massaging expert by any means, but his skin was completely unyielding to my touch. I wasn't sure if it even felt nice to him.

I squeezed as hard as I could, but it was like squeezing a rock in my hand. He tried to stifle a laugh with a cough. _Very funny_. I rolled my eyes. I wasn't going to give up that easily.

I had suspected that the massage part of my plan wouldn't be very effective, but I had more ideas. Since pressure wasn't going to work, perhaps I could focus on sensation. I trailed my short fingernails gently along the tops of his shoulders, sloping down over his biceps. I watched in fascination as little goose bumps raised on his arms. _Woah_. I didn't know that could happen. I ran a finger over the raised flesh out of curiosity.

"Is this okay?" I whispered, unsure of myself.

His response was a little noise from the back of his throat. Sort of a mix between a growl and a groan. What I would have called a purr if he were a cat. I took that as a positive sign. I continued stroking my nails lightly over his back and shoulders. Criss-crossing his flesh and creating invisible patterns with my fingers.

After I completed my circuit a few times, I switched to running my palms slowly over his back, shoulders and arms. Although he didn't speak, he seemed to enjoy that as well. I could feel his skin warming slightly from my touch. I knew it wasn't physically possible, but I imagined that my massage was unwinding tension in his muscles.

I paused, not quite ready to give up my perch, but unsure what else I could do with my hands. I considered his back. I had touched every square inch of exposed skin there.

"Is it okay if I massage your scalp?" I asked quietly, not wanting to break into his relaxation.

He lifted his head slightly and opened one eye, gauging my reaction. "I thought my hair was off limits to you?" His smile let me know he was teasing me about my infatuation with his silky locks. I shrugged.

"I think I can handle it if you keep very still." I hoped my tone properly conveyed that I wanted to stick my tongue out at him.

He gave me a doubtful look.

"I'll even give up my comfy seat here, so I'm not touching you anywhere else." I swung my leg back over and kneeled next to him on the bed. I caught a small frown he tried to hide. I bit my lip pleased with his reaction. He had liked me sitting on top of him.

He nodded in acceptance of my plan and moved his arms up from his sides, resting his head on his forearms. I didn't fail to notice that this new position made his biceps flex attractively. I threaded my fingers into his hair, rubbing against his scalp with my finger tips. I had to admit that I did enjoy the feel of his hair slipping between my fingers. I pulled it gently away from his head in little fistfuls. I loved every second of it.

Curious about something I had seen Edward do countless times before, I leaned in and sniffed his hair. It smelled like him, but in a concentrated way. Not as powerful as his honey sweet breath, but definitely good in the same ways.

His rumbling, but nearly silent laugh caught my attention as he flipped over onto his back suddenly. The laughter in his eyes let me know I had been caught.

"Were you just smelling my hair?" His pretend shock wasn't very convincing.

I shrugged, caught red-handed. "You smell good."

I didn't feel embarrassed since I wasn't actually trying to be sneaky about it. He playfully wrestled me into his embrace, resting my head against his bare chest. He buried his face in my hair and took a deep breath.

"You smell better."

I heard him growl lowly in his chest and I felt my whole body vibrate with excited anticipation. My heart started beating wildly. He looked at me gauging my reaction. I hoped he didn't misinterpret what he saw for fear. It was all desire. I actually saw his eyes turning darker. It was fascinating and intensely sexy.

Suddenly, I was laying on my back across my bed. Edward's knees straddled my hips and his strong arms rested on either side of my head. I couldn't feel any of his weight as he hovered over me. The few inches between us felt electrified. Without even touching me, I felt a thrill at his aggressive claim over my body.

As he hovered over me, gathering himself, I took the opportunity to drag my fingers down his chiseled chest and along those abs I'd been admiring earlier. His eyes rolled back as he closed them. I exhaled in shock at the effect I was having over him. This was amazing.

I paused in my exploration of his perfect chest, realizing I could be pushing things too far again.

He opened his eyes questioningly at me. They were still black, but he was in control. I smiled and bit my lip thinking about what I could do next. His black eyes focused immediately on the lip I held between my teeth and I released it, aware that I had unintentionally triggered something.

His lips came crashing into mine and I moaned at his aggressiveness. I was entirely too excited. If I had been less aroused, I would have been embarrassed at the noises I was making.

He broke away from my lips and I whimpered. He hushed me and reminded me to breathe. I realized he wasn't ending everything. He was trying to help us stay in control so we could continue this longer. Determined not to ruin things, I obedient dragged in nearly desperate breaths of air to fill my deprived lungs. I really needed to remember how to breathe.

I was watching his eyes -my barometer for his control- or I would have missed his split-second appreciative look at my admittedly heaving chest. His gaze quickly continued down to my midsection and I felt a tingle there as well. What this man could do to me with his eyes alone was ridiculous.

Watching my face for permission, his hand tentatively lifted the hem of my shirt to reveal a fraction of the skin along my stomach. He ran his fingers along the exposed skin. I shivered in pleasure, wanting more.

Knowing I had to go slowly, I reached down and pulled the shirt up a few inches higher exposing my entire stomach. I was very aware that I wasn't wearing a bra tonight. His eyes were intense. He gathered my hands in his own and gently placed them above my head, crossed at the wrists.

"To keep them out of trouble," he whispered. Oops. Maybe I was moving too fast for him.

He placed his palms on either side of my navel and slowly dragged them over my exposed skin. I couldn't help but arch into them as they came to rest at the bottom of my shirt. His fingers splayed around my ribcage. Just a few inches more, I pleaded with my eyes. I begged him to hear my thoughts, written plainly across my face. But his hands remained immobile.

"Edward." He looked at me, but said nothing.

I could see the war raging in his eyes. His morals and his desires fighting for control. My own mind-numbing desire was lessened, just a little, at the conflict I saw there.

"I _want_ you to touch me." His eyes dropped again to his hands, frozen in indecision below my shirt.

I decided I would have to take a more direct approach. I slowly lowered my own hands to cover his. His eyes darted up to follow their path.

"Please," I whispered, my desire raw in my voice.

Unable to deny me anything, I felt the tension in his arms relax allowing me to move them. I guided his hands over the bunched fabric of my shirt to cover my breasts. I didn't have a plan after that point, but I didn't have to worry. His hands cupped me gently, but firmly.

"Oh Bella," he whispered reverently.

I couldn't even speak. Pleasure overloaded my ability to think coherently. His thumbs stroked over the tops of my breasts and I shivered with pleasure. I suddenly wished I had worn the tank top to bed again. The neckline was so much lower. There were way too many layers of clothing between me and his hands.

He explored gently, squeezing and caressing me. Twice more, he ran the pads of his thumbs over the tops of my breasts. The feelings this cause to shoot through my body were intense. I twisted my hands into the sheets beneath me. I was going to lose it.

His face gave away the monumental effort he exercised to move his hands away from my body. Edward released me and I wanted to cry at the loss. If he left me at this moment, I knew I would lose it.

Thankfully, he moved to lay next to me, our bodies still touching. I turned into him wanting to feel him in any way I could. He helped me come down from my lust-filled craze with his gentle kisses and caresses. Soon we were kissing sweetly.

His eyes, although darker than their original amber, were no longer black. He stroked along my face and arms with the backs of his fingers. I kissed him on the nose as he had so often done to me and he chuckled, recognizing the gesture.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

Not only had he pushed the boundaries farther than I would have dreamed possible even a month ago, he had helped keep us both under control.

He shook his head in disbelief, love and humor light in his eyes. I knew he was thinking about the supposed irony of me thanking him for how he touched me. I'm sure in his day it would have been scandalous. It just made me love him more. He was willing to do so much for me.

He opened his mouth and I steeled myself to defend his actions against him. But what he said surprised me.

"You've got to learn to use that safe word, love. It's really not fair to expect the vampire in the relationship to have all the self-control." He smirked.

I laughed at his uncharacteristic joke, but took the message seriously. I really did need to learn to control myself. Or be willing to use the safe word when I couldn't. Edward had proven to me that he wasn't going to run away every time things got heated. I nodded to myself, resolving to do better. But I couldn't resist a little jab in return.

"Yeah, because it's not like you're a million times better at controlling yourself than I am." I laid my head against his chest.

He laughed as his arms encircled me.

"I'll never be strong enough to resist you, my love." I shivered at the intensity in his voice.

There would probably need to be reassurances later about what had just happened between us. And I should tell him that I planned to try harder on the safe word. But for now, I fell asleep happily in his arms, snuggled against his bare chest.

**AN: I always respond to reviews with a sneak peak at the next chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended on the works of Stephenie Meyer. **


	9. Chapter 9

I flinched awake suddenly, disoriented. It was early morning judging by the amount of light in my room. Something had woke me up. I searched back in my mind trying to find the source.

I tried to sit up, but couldn't. I was completely wrapped up in my own blanket. I struggled to get my arms loose as my mind caught up. I could hear voices downstairs.

Where was Edward? A quick scan of my room, showed I was alone.

I got my arms free just as Alice came flying through my door followed a second later by Charlie's head peeking in. Alice's face was beaming. So that's who I heard. I looked around in confusion. What happened to Edward?

"Good morning, Bella!" Alice trilled her arms raised in the air.

I flopped back down on my bed, already exhausted at her energy. I waved Charlie off, motioned that I would be okay. He shook his head, laughing at Alice's enthusiasm and disappeared.

"Alice," I groaned, covering my eyes as she flicked on my bedroom light. "What are you doing? What time is it?"

I knew Charlie was going fishing early today. He was taking the day off to start his long weekend and planned to leave early this morning. I had hoped for a lazy Friday morning with Edward, no school and no Charlie. If Charlie was still here, then it must be ridiculously early.

"It's time to get our day started!" She closed the door with a nudge from her foot. She started zipping around my room and I closed my eyes, feeling disoriented trying to keep up with her. I closed my eyes instead.

"Where's Edward?" I whispered with my eyes still closed. This was not how I had wanted to start my day.

He voice surprised me right by my ear. "I'm here, love."

I tried not to jump, but Alice sniggered and Edward smiled at me fondly. My own personal angel was kneeling next to my bed. His hair was tousled and he was still shirtless. I smiled at the reminder of last night.

"Edward, what's going on?"

He turned to Alice with a glare. "Alice thinks she's funny."

"Huh?" I was so eloquent in the morning.

"I'm sorry, love. I didn't get much warning before she showed up." He jerked his thumb over his shoulder dramatically, rolling his eyes. "I couldn't even find my shirt before she started knocking on the door."

He turned to her. "Thanks for that by the way," he said sarcastically. "What if Charlie had seen my shirt here?" He cast his gaze around on the floor, searching for his shirt. I saw him look under the bed. "Somewhere."

Alice only laughed in response and continued zipping around the room. I finally figured out she was picking up my moderately messy room at lightning speed. A tinge of annoyance flared until I decided I didn't care. Let her clean. It would be her punishment for interrupting us.

"Can you help me get out of this blanket? I seem to be stuck."

Edward smiled and reached over to help me.

"How did I get so tangled up?"

"You got cold in the night against my bare skin. I tried to get up to find my shirt, but you didn't want to let go of me." Alice sniggered again. We both ignored it. "This was the best compromise I could come up with."

"Can you leave my arms free next time? I can't even move."

As he unwrapped me from my blanket burrito, his shirt fell to the ground. We both stared at it. Alice laughed. I stuck my tongue out at her. Even my ever-serious Edward smiled.

I heard Charlie open the front door. He whistled appreciatively and Edward glared half-heartedly at Alice. I was lost about the exchange, but wasn't sure I wanted to know either.

I could hear Charlie loading his gear into his cruiser. Soon, he stomped back inside and yelled up the stairs. "Bye Bells. Alice, remember what you promised me. Take care of Bella while I'm gone."

"Bye, Dad!" I yelled out as Alice yelled "Bye, Charlie!"

The door slammed and I quirked my eyebrow at her in what I hoped was a fair imitation of Edward's annoyed, questioning face. It was her turn to stick her tongue out at me.

With Charlie gone, Alice couldn't contain her excitement any longer. She was nearly vibrating in front of us. Edward cracked, smiling at her.

"Just spit it out, Alice," I said.

"We're having a slumber party!" She squealed.

I stared at her in confusion. Then I turned to look at Edward. He rose from the side of my bed with a kiss on my forehead.

"I had nothing to do with it. I'll let Alice explain the details," he said.

I was distracted again by the play of his muscles as he put his shirt back on in one quick movement. I wished that he wouldn't put his shirt back on. Ever. He kissed away my resulting pout.

Purposefully ignoring Alice, he deepened the kiss until my heart started racing. I reached up to twine my fingers into his hair, determined to keep him there. Alice cleared her throat. I didn't care. Edward pulled me into his chest. She cleared her throat again and Edward froze.

He pulled away from me reluctantly. The look on his face that told me Alice was threatening him with her thoughts. I quick look to Alice's impatient expression confirmed my suspicion. I glared at her.

Edward laughed and backed away with his hands in the air.

"Okay, okay, Alice. I'm leaving."

He smiled at me gently. "I'm going to run home and change. Alice has informed me that I am also going on a quick hunt with Jasper and Emmett. Will you be okay if I'm gone for most of the day? I promise to be home by three."

I nodded, knowing he needed to take care of his thirst. I still wished I had gotten a little more warning though.

"Alice has plans for your day today," he said ominously. I frowned. He chuckled, kissing me softly before he left out my window. Alice turned to me ready to pounce. I held up my hand stalling her enthusiasm.

"I need a human minute, Alice. Then you can ruin the rest of my day with whatever you have planned."

She pouted. Her big, golden eyes were wide and round. I smiled, letting her know she was forgiven, and headed to the bathroom. She tossed some clothes at me on the way out and I realized with relief that they were my own.

I'd been half afraid she was going to make me wear designer clothes all day while I practiced my posture in high heels. If she was letting me start out with my own non-designer clothes, maybe this day wasn't going to be so bad after all.

When I came back from my, admittedly slow shower, my room was completely spotless. My bed was made, all the sheets tucked in under the mattress. A trip to the hamper in my closet revealed that even my clothes had been organized according to color. Alice stood in the middle of my room with her arms crossed and her toe tapping impatiently.

I smiled innocently and slowly replaced my shower bag in the appropriate drawer. Instead of dumping my pajamas in my desk chair as I normally would have, I took time to fold them and place them in my dresser. Alice's foot tapping continued.

Feeling I had received a little retribution for my missed morning with Edward, I sat down on my bed ready to give in to Alice's plan for the day. There really wasn't a way to get out of it anyway.

She smiled immediately, uncrossing her arms.

"Bella, this is going to be such a fun weekend. I have everything all planned out." She laid out her plan with words like makeover, pedicure and girl time. I grimaced knowing who would be bearing the brunt of these activities.

"We have so much to do before the boys get home!"

With that, she pulled me out of my house and into her yellow Porsche waiting in my driveway. No wonder Charlie had whistled. This car was ridiculous.

**AN: I respond to reviews with a teaser on the next chapter! **


	10. Chapter 10

Four hours later, I sat patiently on Alice's bed waiting for the timer to go off. I had to admit that I'd been having a good time. Although my skin was buffed, my face was exfoliated and my hair was currently wrapped up in some genie-towel-deep-conditioning-treatment, I'd enjoyed spending time with Alice. It had been too long. And she, amazingly, didn't even bring up any wedding planning details.

We were giggling over the story she just finished telling me about Edward and Emmett's epic catch and release competition, when my stomach rumbled loudly. I laughed, embarrassed.

"Woah, Bella. You don't have to growl at me just because you're hungry!" Alice teased. "Your hair is done now." Obediently, the timer on her nightstand dinged. "Let's go rinse it out and we can get you some lunch."

Rinsing out my hair also apparently included drying and styling, so it was well past noon by the time my food was set in front of me at the local diner.

Although I appreciated that she didn't treat me like a fragile human and freak out every time I made a noise, I was ravenous. I dug into my hamburger and fries with gusto. Alice grimaced at her own plate. I ate half my burger before Alice switched plates with me. Realizing the ingenuity of her idea, I ate half of her burger and finished off her fries. A half eaten burger sat in front of both of us.

I relaxed back into the booth, sipping on my milkshake. Alice shook her head at me in amazement. I shrugged. A girl had to eat.

"What's next on the agenda, Alice?" I had roughly three more hours until Edward came home. And I decided I wouldn't mind spending them with my best friend.

We headed home in today's car, the much less conspicuous Volvo. I enjoyed the smell of Edward on the leather seats the whole way while we chatted. Alice grinned at me knowingly. When we pulled into their driveway, Alice shut off the car and turned to me.

"Now I don't want you to freak out..." uh, oh. "But I have made some plans for us tonight and everyone is really looking forward to it."

She was already laying on the guilt before even telling me what she had planned. I steeled myself for something awful.

"We all want to go dancing." My jaw dropped.

"No! No way. I can't dance. I'm not going dancing."

"Bella, I said don't freak out."

"Alice, I'm sorry, but I can't. I can't even dance. The last time I went dancing, I had a cast on my leg and Edward had to move me around the floor on his feet. I'm a danger to myself and everyone around me."

"And...?"

"And what? Isn't that enough? " I asked, panicking.

"And... you had a great time! Don't try to lie to me. You loved dancing with Edward. You looked great together. Everyone noticed."

I buried my face in my hands, shaking my head. She was going to talk me into this.

"Think of how much easier it will be without the cast," she pleaded.

My head shot up. "It will be worse, Alice. I will be at full clumsiness without my cast to slow me down."

Alice shook her head. "That's not what I see happening." Intrigued, I watched her face. She didn't hold out too long. "You know how you and Edward have been pushing your boundaries a little?" I nodded, trying not to be embarrassed. She squeezed my hand in support. "This is going to make a huge difference."

"Really?" She had found my kryptonite.

"I promise, Bella. Part of the reason I barged in on your morning was because Edward had made his mind up to talk with you about slowing things down." My face fell. She hurried to reassure me. "Trust me, it's not because he didn't like it. I think he liked it too much. I saw his whole speech planned out in his head. He's so scared of losing control with you. You need to show him that he can trust you to also be in control of the situation."

I nodded. I knew I needed to work on that. Smelling an easy victory, she continued.

"Tonight, you are going to drive Edward wild. But you will be able to control yourself and show him you can be trusted. It's just what you two need to keep things moving in the right direction." I sighed, giving up the fight. She squealed in delight at her victory.

When we arrived home, I was dragged into her bedroom and deposited on the bed. She disappeared into her giant closet and I could hear clothes rustling around and hangers clicking. She emerged with a shoe box in one hand and a black garment bag in the other. She looked at me appraisingly. I tried not to flinch in fear. Alice was a force.

Setting the garment bag across a chair, she approached me with the box. Opening it with a dramatic flair, she pulled out the highest heeled shoes I had ever seen.

Okay, maybe not _the_ highest. But they were way higher than anything I would ever dare to wear. I started shaking my head, ready to tell her off.

"Bella, do you to trust me?" She looked into my eyes. I felt a little bit dazzled with their intensity. I nodded slowly.

"Alice, I won't be able to walk in those things -"

"These are not _things_ Bella. They are one of a kind, commissioned Manolo Blahnik, patent leather sling backs." She grumbled at my blank look. "They are works of art- no, _masterpieces_ for your feet."

"I still don't think I'll be able to walk in these masterpieces." I looked doubtfully at the ridiculous high three inch heels.

She cut me off. "That's why we're going to practice."

She placed the shoes on my feet and helped me to stand. I looked down as she nudged the box out of the way, holding both of my hands. I towered over her with my new height, but I knew she could still catch me if - no when- I tripped. She walked backwards in front of me holding my hands.

I took tentative steps in her footsteps. I was surprised at how comfortable the shoes were. I expected them to hurt, but they didn't. My heel wobbled a little bit as I transferred my weight. She steadied me, coaching. "Keep most of your weight on the front of your foot."

Struggling to learn, I tried to adjust my weight forward and almost toppled over. Alice tried another tactic. "It's all about confidence. Look up." I didn't dare. I was going to fall. "Look into my eyes, Bella. Confidence."

Trusting in her, we locked eyes as we stepped carefully around the room. The clicking of my heels against the wood floor was loud and slow. Her smiled never faded and I had to smile in return at my progress. Eventually she dropped one of my hands and walked next to me holding onto only one elbow. As I made my rounds, I began to feel more confident. I hadn't fallen once. She carefully released her last hold on me and watched like a proud mother hen as I walked across the floor on my own. I smiled back, beaming with pride.

After about half an hour of practice I felt better about my ability to walk in the shoes. I flopped on the bed, thinking my training complete. It was surprisingly successful. Alice stood over me.

"You're not done yet grasshopper." I rolled my eyes at her about to retort when Rosalie walked into the room.

I sat up on the bed. Rosalie gave me a hesitant, but genuine smile. I smiled back softly, unsure of where this was going. We both looked at Alice.

"We're going to learn about dancing now," Alice clued me in.

"Alice, I know how to dance. Well, I don't. But Edward does. We can just do what we did at Prom. Won't that be enough?" I asked, unsure. Alice and Rosalie laughed. It was like to chimes tinkling in the wind. I smiled nervously, unsure of the joke.

"We won't be doing that kind of dancing, Bella." Rosalie explained.

"It's time for your first lesson in dirty dancing." Alice grinned evilly. I gulped.

**AN: Thanks for all the amazing reviews! I always respond with a sneak peek at the next chapter :)**


	11. Chapter 11

_"It's time for your first lesson in dirty dancing." Alice grinned evilly. I gulped. _

"Rose, come be my model." Rosalie strutted from the door to where Alice stood. I couldn't believe Alice got her to go along with this. I scooted to the foot of the bed, wary, but intrigued.

"Dirty dancing is like sex. But with your clothes on." My jaw dropped in surprise and Alice and Rosalie laughed openly at me. I blushed deeply.

"I don't- I'm not...that doesn't help me." They knew I was a virgin. I shouldn't have to spell it out for them.

Taking pity on me, Alice tried a different approach. She stood off to Rosalie's side and pointed dramatically at her hips.

"This is the key to dancing," Alice stated. Rosalie obediently swayed her hips left to ride. "Without proper hip movement, dancing looks like this."

Rose rolled her eyes and then sort of jerked stiffly from side to side with her hips. It was clear she was trying to be awkward. I laughed and she chuckled once with me. Alice smiled a secret smile behind Rosalie's back. I had a sudden feeling that Alice set up these lessons to take care of more than just my poor dancing. Rosalie and I were actually getting along.

"Okay, hips. I can understand that." I tried to be a good student.

Alice snapped back into instructor mode and pointed dramatically at Rosalie's knees. "The next most important key to dancing is the knees. Rose, move your hips without moving your knees." A look of concentration passed over Rosalie's face while her hips swayed but her legs remained completely straight. It was pretty funny actually. I snorted and covered my mouth. We all shared another laugh.

"Okay, now show Bella both hips and knees together." Rosalie moved gracefully, swaying and bending them in tandem. I had to admit it was helpful to have Alice break down the movements for me.

"Okay, now it's your turn Bella."

Rosalie moved to the bed as I stood up. I ran my nervous hands down the sides of my legs. I turned and stood in Rosalie's place. Alice and Rosalie looked at me expectantly from the bed. Was I just supposed to start dancing? I burst into nervous giggles. The pressure was too much.

They looked at me like I'd cracked.

"Come on!" I pleaded. "This is so embarrassing. Can I at least get some music?" Alice's eyes glazed for a second and she emphatically told me that I wasn't ready yet.

"Just try your hips first," she suggested.

I popped my weight onto one hip. Alice nodded enthusiastically. I transferred to the other hip. I repeated the move a few times, each time feeling a little more fluid in the transition. This wasn't so bad.

"Okay, now your knees," Rosalie suggested. I slowed my hips to think about how to coordinate the movement with my knees.

"Don't stop moving your hips!" Alice instructed.

"Don't over think it," Rosalie offered. I bent my knees a little while I swayed my hips back and forth. It was amazing how much more range of movement I had with my knees relaxed. I'm sure I looked like a new born giraffe, all wobbly legs and knees - but I was learning.

After a few tries, I got into a rhythm that felt right. I looked to Alice and Rosalie who were both grinning in approval.

Alice deemed me ready to try dancing with some music and I was joined by her and Rosalie as we each swayed and danced to the music. It really helped to have both the music and their examples to follow. I already felt more confident in my abilities. After a few minutes, Alice turned off the music.

Alice directed Rosalie to the front again and I sat at the foot of the bed to receive my next lesson.  
>Together they showed me how to add in my upper body and some simple arm movements. When Rosalie danced using her whole body, it was beautiful. She looked so graceful and sensual.<p>

"I'll be happy if I can be even a fraction as sexy as that." I realized I had just told Rosalie I thought she was sexy. I blushed and Rosalie smiled.

"Call me Rose. The rest of the family does," she said. I smiled in delight, trying not to be overly emotional at her kindness to me. While I tried to reign in my reaction, Alice started jumping up and down in joy. We rolled our eyes at her excitement. I solidified my suspicion that Alice was orchestrating our bonding time.

We turned on the music and practiced dancing for a few more minutes. I worked on moving my whole body together. Rose reminded me not to over-think it, which actually helped.

Alice turned off the music again and assumed her teacher role. "Now for the dirty part of dirty dancing."

I was instructed to sit on the bed again as Rosalie and Alice stood up. Alice turned on the music and they both started dancing. Slowly they danced closer together until they were touching. Instead of two people moving separately, they began to move together to the beat.

With their hips and torsos in unison, when one moved back, the other pushed forward. Then forward and back. It was a dance of give and take. It was fascinating to watch. Rosalie placed a hand on Alice's shoulder and she turned so they were back to front and the dancing changed slightly to accommodate the new position. Forward together, back together.

Alice instructed me to watch their hips, then knees, then upper bodies, pointing out helpful tips along the way. It was all the same movements I had been learning, but paired with a partner. Alice motioned for me to join them and the three of us practiced moving in sync with a partner.

Between the super natural good looks of two of the three of us, I was sure this little scene was something men be falling all over themselves to watch. But it didn't feel sexual, and it was surprisingly not awkward either. We were all having a fun time together. Dancing and laughing.

Once Alice was satisfied with my progress, she made me put my heels back on and practice it all over again.

When my dancing was labeled non-life threatening, we all sat on the bedroom floor. A question occurred to me as I carefully placed my shoes back in their box.

"Does Edward know how to dance like this?" Rose snorted, but didn't say anything.

"Maybe you'll just have to teach him a thing or two tomorrow tonight," Alice responded with a wink. "Now it's time to show you what you're wearing." She nodded toward the garment bag laying across her chair and I gulped.

**AN: Leave a review and get a sneak peak from chapter 12!**


	12. Chapter 12

I had waited in nervous anticipation all day. Edward and his family had done plenty to keep me entertained, I just couldn't stop my thoughts from drifting. I was almost relieved when Alice pulled me away to start the primping for our outing tonight. Now we were finally here.

Emmett pulled the car up to the front of the club. I could hear the bass before we opened the car doors. Waiting behind red velvet cordons were masses of scantily clad, beautiful people waiting to get into the club. The line stretched down the street. Their chatting and idle laughter died as we exited the car.

Emmett gave the valet the keys to the car and opened the front door for Rosalie. She gracefully exited the car in her mile high stilettos. Alice followed on Jaspers arm. Sensing my nervousness, Edward gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. I tugged on my way too short skirt, trying to keep from exposing myself as I exited the car. Alice had pulled out every trick in the book to get me to wear it. I mentally cursed her puppy dog eyes. I executed a less than graceful exit from the car, maintaining a death grip on Edward's elbow. It was the best I could manage under the circumstances and I felt proud I hadn't actually fallen.

A hundred pairs of eyes watched our entourage. I'm sure we were quite the sight. Rosalie and Emmett strutted past it all to the club door. A word with the bouncer, his appreciative once over of Rosalie and a quick hand shake from Emmett got us past the line of waiting people. I didn't actually see, but I assumed the bouncer had been tipped generously. Alice and Jasper followed with just as much grace and beauty. We followed after them. I blushed as the bouncer's appreciative looks on my way too short skirt caused Edward to place his arm around my waist protectively.

The music had been loud outside the club, but it was a physical presence inside. I walked from the night, into the even darker club with its added confusion of music, strobe lights and masses of moving bodies. I hung onto Edward until we made it to a booth off the dance floor. Although we could still watch the dance floor, the volume of the music was much more tolerable. The bass still thumped heavily in my chest, but at least I could hear people talking again. The VIP sign on the table disappeared with the waitress who took our drink orders.

She returned quickly with six drinks smelling strongly of alcohol. The drink placed in front of Alice looked pretty and was garnished with fruit. She beamed. I have to admit, it looked pretty yummy. But obviously they wouldn't be drinking anything here. I gave Edward a confused look. He leaned in and tried not to shout in my ear to explain.

"It would bring more attention _not_ to order drinks. And of course Alice likes to get creative with her orders." He rolled his eyes. "I also got you a water." He slid a glass of clear liquid over to me.

"What about IDs?" I asked. No one had asked for our IDs. Not at the door or even when we ordered our drinks. And while my vampires were all technically much older than the legal drinking age, they didn't _look_ like they were any older than eighteen, maybe twenty at the most. And I certainly didn't look twenty one by a long shot.

He shrugged. "Another perk of being a VIP. No one asks questions if you grease the right palms." This whole money thing was going to take some getting used to. Edward had tried explaining it to me before. How the casual show of wealth prevented people from questioning some of their more odd behavior. It was just part of 'playing human' for them. It was all so foreign to me, the actual human.

Alice slid her fruity drink in front of me. Edward frowned at her, but he didn't touch the glass. I didn't either.

"Don't give me that look, Edward." Alice chastised. I stared between the two of them. His frown had turned into a glare, but Alice seemed unperturbed. "It's not like you never had alcohol when you were human."

Surprised, I looked at Edward's face. He wasn't denying it. He did glance at me out of the corner of his eye. "It wasn't illegal for _me_ to drink." What an interesting revelation.

"Whatever," Alice countered oh so eloquently. "She's going to be one of us in less than a month and it's not like a few years makes any difference. There are plenty of other laws we break all the time. "

Edward shook his head, no longer glaring, but not agreeing either. Rosalie, Emmett and I all watched this exchange raptly.

Alice continued, "You should be encouraging her to have this human experience. I promise not to let her get out of control." Edward rolled his eyes and sat back in his seat.

"It's not my decision. Bella can make her own choices," he countered. Alice looked at me, then back at Edward. Her eyes glazed over for a second and she pouted.

"No fair, Edward." He smiled smugly. I was getting whiplash looking back and forth between the two of them. Alice changed tactics and turned on me.

"Bella. Come on." I shook my head. I wasn't about to get drunk at a dance club. I was sure to trip in these ridiculous heels and break something. Alice continued working on me. "I promise not to let you drink too much or do anything embarrassing." I was about to shake my head again when she leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"It will help with the thing we talked about earlier." I looked into her eyes for confirmation. Was she talking about our desensitizing therapy? I wasn't sure if the vampire super hearing could pick up our whispers over the music, so I didn't want to risk asking any questions.

Besides, Edward could hear all of Alice's thoughts anyway. I looked at him to see if he was picking up anything from Alice on our conversation about him wanting to slow things down. He looked curious, but nothing else.

I looked into her sincere eyes, and decided to give it a try. A triumphant grin spread across her face a second before I reached for the glass and sucked down a long pull. I swallowed the delicious mixture as Emmett laughed and high fived Alice. It was fruity and really yummy. Edward's face was unreadable.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

"Of course not. Like I said, it's your choice," he said evenly. I frowned, assuming disapproval in his words. "Alice is right- it's not like I never had alcohol. And well before I was your age." He winked at me taking out any sting from his earlier words. I smiled. I appreciated his efforts to let me make my own decisions. I took another sip and placed the drink back on the table, determined not to overdo it.

When the song changed, Alice hopped up quickly and pulled Jasper onto the dance floor. I watched as the mass of people unconsciously shifted around them, giving them more space on the floor than anyone else. Barely enough room to breathe, but it was noticeable if you were looking. I watched as they moved in sync to the beat. With her usual grace, she moved with the music using her hips and butt in ways I would normally be too embarrassed to try in public. With her heels on, she was much closer to Jasper's height. They looked amazing together - coordinated.

I wasn't the only one watching Alice dance. Jasper especially seemed to be enjoying her dancing. I watched as he pulled her to him roughly. His leg slipped between her thighs and she moved her hands around his neck. His hands slid down onto her butt. Their bodies moved together to the beat, their eyes locked on each other. Their hips rocked as they moved together in a sensual display. I ripped my eyes away, feeling like a voyeur.

Rose and Alice hadn't quite showed me that during my lessons. I saw Edward watching me. He glanced out at the dance floor and then back to me. I couldn't read his expression. I tried to cover my over-reaction by sipping on my drink and looking anywhere but at him.

Rosalie and Emmett slipped away onto the dance floor and Edward took the opportunity to lift me into his lap. Since conversation was difficult, he put his lips to better use on my neck. As the songs became less sensual, I watched Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett on the dance floor while Edward lavished attention on my neck. A particularly strong beat came on and probably feeling the effects of the alcohol, I swayed to the music, tapping my fingers on the table.

I felt Edward's chest rumble against my back and realized he was laughing. He leaned into my ear. "Do you want to dance, Bella?"

I looked over the dance floor considering my options. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable being closer than he had to be to all those people. But everyone else seemed fine, even Jasper. I was also decidedly ungraceful and didn't want to make a fool of myself. But I felt more confident in my dancing after Alice's lessons. A rational part of me noted this was probably false liquid courage. But I knew Edward wouldn't let me fall.

No, it was too risky in these heels and ridiculous outfit Alice forced me into. I was about to turn him down when Alice popped up in front of us. She took the drink from my hands and set it on the table. I noted with alarm that it was almost gone. She started pulling me onto the dance floor. She danced backwards into the crowd, gently pulling on my one hand while I kept a death grip on Edward with my other. I wasn't going to go down alone.

All six of us formed a loose circle on the dance floor. I again noticed that we were getting more room than normal for such a packed space. Edward stayed close to me, helping me gain my confidence. I moved casually with the beat, mostly enjoying watching everyone else dance and enjoy themselves.

I was just thinking about taking a break when Alice and Rosalie moved in, spurred by some unseen signal. They danced over to me and effectively pulled me away from Edward into the center of our little circle. I laughed with protest, but there was no escape. Alice gave me a 'go with it' look and I decided to put her earlier lessons to use.

I purposefully turned my back on Edward, knowing I could never get over my own self consciousness if I saw him watching me dance. Just like Alice taught me, I starting by focusing on my hips and swaying them with the music. I softened my knees and let my body move with the beat. Alice smiled in encouragement. Even Rose was wearing an encouraging smile. I closed my eyes focusing on moving my body. It was easy to get lost in the crowd of people who were also all dancing. No one was going to laugh and point. I smiled, feeling good.

As Alice had embarrassingly suggested, I started thinking about sex. Sex with Edward. I allowed my body to move instinctually, trying not to over think anything. On instinct, I raised my arms up, crossing them slightly over my head, moving them back down over my hair, running my hands slowly around my stomach and then sliding down to my hips. All the while thinking about how it would feel if it were Edward touching me.

My eyes flew open in surprise as a hand grasped my hip from behind. My back landed against a rock hard chest. I relaxed, sensing and feeling a familiar body behind me.

Edward kept his hand on my hip, his fingers curled slightly around to the front as he gently pulled me closer toward him. His hand guided the movement of my hips and I could feel his corresponding movement behind me. I placed my right hand over his to keep it on my hip. Sensing my acceptance, his left hand gripped my other side, guiding my movements against him. I leaned back into his chest, enjoying the feel of his strong body supporting mine.

"You're going to be the death of me," he whispered in my ear. Tingles shot down my spine.

**AN: The next chapter is REALLY the best chapter of the whole story. I'll make you all a deal- if I get ten reviews, I'll post it right away. And don't forget, I give out sneak peeks on the next chapter to everyone who reviews! Hope you're enjoying the story...**


	13. Chapter 13

He helped guide my movements as thrills of excitement shot through my body. I closed my eyes again, imagining our movements as part of making love with Edward. Edward lifted my free arm up and draped it around his neck. I had to stretch a little to reach him. He ran his hand back down the exposed underside of my arm and ribs, settling over my lower waist and possessively dragging his hand along my stomach. New and immensely pleasurable sensations coursed through me as we moved together. I knew that this was something I never would have tried on my own. I was also thankful I was a little bit buzzed from that fruity drink Alice ordered. I totally would have chickened out doing this in public.

I never imagined Edward and I would be dancing like this. He was good at it too, of course. He was good at everything. His hands on my hips guiding me, felt amazing and so right. I liked the way he was guiding my hips to move with his. Feeling the length of his hard body behind me, sent thrills shooting all the way through me. I felt sexy. His hands moved slowly across my stomach with our movements. I had never felt anything more erotic.

Eventually, I moved my hand away from his neck and took the change in tempo as an opportunity to gently press my butt back into his hips. His hands flexed against me and I felt the growl in his chest. Afraid I had gone too far, I paused. But his hands kept my body settled against his, maintaining the pressure that felt so amazing. I needed more.

He turned me around facing into him. His eyes were black and intense. I could see the same hunger there as I'm sure was obvious on my face. I stared into his dark eyes, my heart beating with the music, waiting for his next move. As I had seen Jasper and Alice do earlier, he guided me into position against him, his thigh between my legs. His hands were firm against my back, holding me to him.

We continued to move with the steady bass beat of the music as I looked into the darkened pools of his eyes. The sight of them sent fire shooting into my belly. Steadying myself, I laid my hand on his chest over his still heart. His hand covered mine tenderly. He raised our entwined hands to his lips and kissed the back of my fingers. I smiled. Always the gentleman.

But tonight wasn't about being gentlemanly. Remembering Alice's warning that Edward had decided to try and slow things down, I decide to step things up.

I wrapped my free arm around him still watching his beautiful face. Biting my lip, I slid my hand down from his strong back, cupping his butt. He quirked a humorous eyebrow at me. I squeezed his cheek in return. Eyes still smoldering, he slid his own hand from my back down to my butt. He used the leverage to slide me further up his thigh. Somehow, the situation didn't make me laugh so much as burn with desire for more.

I tried really hard not to be obvious, but the pressure of his thigh between my legs felt delicious in all the right ways. We moved together, our bodies grinding slowly and I took the opportunity to experiment with what felt good. I was probably being much more obvious than I thought, but I didn't care. This was too amazing. I lifted my face to his when I felt close to bursting. I needed some kind of release.

He caught the intensity of my need and kissed me passionately. His lips were filled with the same need as mine. They were insistent and firm. I felt his tongue softly graze against my lips as I parted them. His tongue slipped into my mouth and reveled in the taste of him.

I gasped for breath and he released me moving on to my neck. I tilted my head to the side giving him full access as I panted. The steady bass beat continued to overshadow my racing heart. Every nerve in my body was attuned to him and aching for more. I was a live wire.

The whoosh of air and the decreased in volume were my only cues that we had moved off the dance floor. I didn't even care to take my eyes off of him to see where we were. I knew we were outside somewhere. The absence of the slamming bass beat allowed me to feel my wildly thudding heart in my chest once again.

He pressed my back firmly against a wall. His body leaned fully against mine, holding me in place. I felt that same delicious pressure of his hips pressing into me. I gripped my hands around his butt and pulled him harder against me, returning the pressure. His free hand tangled in my hair. I stifled a moan in his mouth.

Our kisses were becoming intense and almost frantic. The scorching heat building in my body screamed for release. I moved my legs slightly, encouraging his thigh to slip between them again. He complied and a jolt of pleasure arched through my body. I felt like I was going to explode. His hands were everywhere, caressing and gripping me. I felt totally consumed by him and I loved it.

Finally, Edward was allowing himself to let go. He was just as needy and intense as I was and I thrilled at the new connection I felt with him. His hips moved very deliberately against me - Once, twice, grinding deliciously in all the right places. He groaned quietly in pleasure and hearing his desire tipped me over the edge.

My body reacted. Without warning, the most pleasurable sensation I had ever felt pulsed between my legs. I froze with the sheer pleasure of it. It was over so fast, I wasn't sure what happened at first. My whole body felt good and tingly. After the shock of my first orgasm left me, I was damp and breathless.

Edward pulled away from my lips, his black eyes large and burning. I felt his chest rumbling against me, as I heard him growl lowly. I noticed that I wasn't the only one panting. Actually, panting wasn't an accurate description in his case.

Clearing the haze of alcohol and lust, I tried to make my brain understand what my eyes were seeing. I focused on my curiosity to regain some control of myself. Edward was barely holding it together. His body was tensed and predatory. As Edward pulled in his own deep breaths of air, it dawned on me that his brain didn't need oxygen, he was tasting my scent on the air. The thought of what he might be smelling at this moment-all my crazy hormones and my obvious desire -made me blush. He closed his eyes and groaned.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Not quite sure what to apologize for first. I had a few options; acting like a sex-crazed maniac, blushing at the worst moments and adding blood to the list of temptations I represented, or for my unintentional orgasm. _Oh God._ Did he know about that? Could he tell what had happened? My heart beat a frantic staccato at the thought.

He closed his eyes, his face still inches from mine and growled lowly again. I felt his chest rumbling deeply. "Edward? Are you okay?" I was afraid I had pushed him over the edge. The last of my buzz died as concern bloomed in its place. His eyes were squeezed shut. He was frozen in place around me, except for the draw of heavy breaths through his mouth. "Edward? Look at me." I caressed his face with my hand, willing him to open his eyes.

He didn't open his eyes, but he slowly and deliberately removed his hands from my body placing them to either side of me against the wall. I could tell it was an effort for him to release me. But I was still trapped possessively between his arms. The shift lessoned some of his weight against me. I whimpered at the loss and his eyes flew open again. I gasped. His eyes were so black I could see my refection in them. They burned with desire and a wildness I'd never before seen in them. The intensity behind them rekindled the tingle in my belly.

"Don't move." His whisper was a plea and a command. Predatory and concerned at the same time. What had I done to him? I knew I had to help him. I pushed my own desires down and focused. I remembered what he told me about the first time we met. How he stopped breathing to lessen the temptation of my blood. I knew this wasn't bloodlust, but it seemed like the right approach.

"I think you should stop breathing, Edward." He seemed to be listening to my words, but his chest continued to rise and fall with his breath. I needed something more. "Snickerdoodle," I whispered. He snapped his mouth shut, cutting off his air supply. His eyes were still wild and black as night. I slowly raised my hand stroking his face gently as he calmed down.

"I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Please," he choked out. He closed his eyes for a long moment. Finally he took in a careful breath to speak. I tensed. "Please, don't apologize to me Bella. I'm the one that lost control."

"But -"

"No, nothing that happened was your fault." His eyes were still closed, but he seemed to be back to himself. His usual self-loathing, masochistic self, that was. I shook my head, about to protest before this got out of hand. He pushed off the wall away from me. The loss of his weight was noticeable. I hugged my arms around myself. He turned away from me and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I just need a moment."

I obediently waited for him to pull himself together. After a few moments, he dropped his hand and opened his eyes. They were back to a dark amber. I noticed he still wasn't breathing though.

I waited for him to speak, not sure where his mood had landed. "I'm the one that owes you an apology. I was this close to losing it. I could have hurt you." The last part came out in a whisper.

"But you didn't. You didn't hurt me at all. You stopped yourself from doing anything. You were able to come back down. Edward, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm the overly-hormonal human who has to push everything to the limits." I was desperate to convince him. He had to see the truth of the situation.

The highs and lows of my emotions were getting to me. I fought back tears. I refused to cry.

He gathered me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. "What a pair we are," he laughed without humor. He was trying to comfort me of all things. He let the argument drop in the face of my tears. I decided to follow suit.

"The masochistic lion," I whispered.

"And my tempting little lamb," he responded.

As we walked back to the car, I realized we had gone outside through the emergency exit doors. _Huh_. I hadn't even noticed. Rather than heading back inside through the throngs of people, we walked around the outside of the building, still holding onto each other. The line of people waiting to get into the club hadn't lessened. Edward sent the valet off to retrieve our car while he held me comfortably against his side. I began to feel the late hour and the effects of drama and alcohol. I let him support my weight a little more.

We slipped into the back seat of the car, just moments before Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett slid into their respective seats.

Emmett sniffed loudly. "Damn, Bella!" he laughed accusingly. Not satisfied with my confused silence, he turned on Edward. Reaching back from the driver's seat he punched Edward on the shoulder. "I didn't know you had it in you, kid," he teased.

Edward's reaction was too fast for my eyes, but I felt the car rock forward suddenly. I heard the low hiss of rapid vampire speech and although I couldn't make out the words, I could tell they were heated.

I did manage to see both Rosalie and Alice smack Emmett on the head simultaneously. Emmett turned back into the driver's seat, suddenly completely focused on pulling the car away from the curb. Everyone was tersely quiet. I was completely confused at the whole altercation until the windows conspicuously rolled down.

Something worse than a nightmare occurred to me. _They could smell me. They __**all**__ knew what my traitorous hormonal body had done. _I buried my red face in my hands suddenly grateful for speedy vampire driving. When we got back to their house I was showering and burning these stupid clothes.

**AN: This is my favorite chapter. I hope you liked it too. Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! I'm happy to post this one up a day early :) I even added a little more to the good parts, since you all were so generous with your reviews. **

**There are only four more chapters to this story before we get back to Breaking Dawn... I'll make everyone a deal. If I get 15 reviews on a chapter, I'll edit and post the next chapter immediately. Otherwise, it'll be up in 2 days as normal (believe me when I say, it's a lot of work). Thanks! **


	14. Chapter 14

I woke the next morning in Edward's giant fluffy bed. The sun was streaming in through the window. I stretched and yawned looking around for my favorite morning sight. Right on cue, Edward walked in with a serving tray piled with food. I smiled at him gratefully.

"Good morning." He kissed me softly on the lips and set the tray in my lap. It smelled amazing. I picked up my fork and started piling the delicious food into my mouth. "Did you sleep well?" he asked, stroking my hair.

I mm-hmm'd around my mouthful enthusiastically. He chuckled and settled himself behind me, acting as my own personal backrest. I scooted back into his open legs, relishing in the culinary creations and the personal attentions of my master chef. I finished eating and Edward removed the tray.

"I slept like a baby. I was really tired after all that dancing last night." His eyes took on a bit of a pinched look which he quickly hid with a practiced smile. I could tell his thoughts were focused on the disastrous ending to our night out.

I thought back on the evening. We definitely needed to talk about it. I had been too tired when we got home to deal with what would certainly be a difficult conversation. So instead, I headed straight to the shower and into bed. We hadn't talked about anything. I wondered when I should bring it up. I didn't want to ruin the current peaceful mood.

"Charlie came by late last night," he casually changed the subject.

I nearly choked. "What! Why? Did he see you?" Visions of an epic fatherly melt down flashed in front of my eyes with horror. Edward chuckled at my over-reaction.

"Of course not. Alice saw his decision to 'patrol' the house with enough time to set things up convincingly." Relieved, I rolled my eyes.

"What do you mean 'set things up'?"

"Nothing major. We moved the appropriate cars into one of the outbuildings behind the house. Alice set up a few props. It wasn't a problem." I laughed. I bet Alice had actually had fun, setting up props. I shared that thought with Edward. He nodded in agreement, smiling. "She was quite thorough; spare camping gear strewn about the garage and miscellaneous messes in the living area to make it look like actual teenagers live here."

I chuckled with him. Alice had definitely had fun. "She had the most fun setting up sleep-over props. Unfortunately, this means you'll be spending additional girl time with Alice before our weekend is over. She plans to paint your nails." I grimaced and he chuckled softly, placing a kiss in my hair.

"Well, I suppose it's a small price to pay for avoiding the wrath of Charlie. You'd think the fact that we're getting married in just a few weeks would afford us a little space from fatherly prying," I griped. He smiled at my mention of the wedding. Of course.

"I'm afraid his cop tendencies and his fatherly instincts got the better of him in the middle of the night." He smiled remembering something funny.

"What?" I smiled, wanting to be let in on the joke.

"Charlie decided he should make sure I was really camping and you and I weren't here doing anything inappropriate. It was pretty funny watching him prowling around the garage and peeking in the windows. Emmett nearly didn't hold it together when Charlie snuck up on the porch with his flashlight." Edward's eyes flashed with humor. "In Emmett's defense, it was probably the first time in history a human ever stalked a whole house full of vampires."

I laughed at the mental image. Poor Charlie. He was in way over his head, just trying to be a good dad. And I had slept through the whole thing. I smiled fondly and tried not to let any sadness creep in around the corners. I had less than a month with Charlie after all. Edward seemed to sense my shift in thoughts despite my efforts.

"He'll be okay love. He's a good man and he's trying hard to accept that his only child is moving into an adult life of her own. He'll be a little lonely at first, but he'll get along just fine."

I nodded. I didn't really want to go down this path right now. I had a lot of other things to think about. But the comment about Charlie's 'fatherly instincts' did make me think again about the things that had happened last night between Edward and I. Charlie's instincts were more correct than he knew.

"I think we need to talk about what happened last night." I felt Edward tense and I turned to get a better look at his face. It was a careful mask, but I could see the pain behind his eyes. He was blaming himself. I knew we needed to talk about this. "Edward, nothing actually happened. You don't have anything to blame yourself about."

"Bella, there's nothing you can say that's going to change what I nearly did."

"Nearly. Edward. Not _**did**_. Nothing happened to me. And what did happened was my own stupid fault." He was already shaking his head in denial and moving off the bed. I reached out to catch his arm. He allowed me to grab his hand, his body half way off the bed. He sighed. I opened my mouth, but he cut me off.

"Bella, I don't want to hear you try to take the blame for this. I know what happened." He gently unclasped my hand from his and walked to his bedroom door. My heart stuttered with the ghost of a familiar pain. He was leaving. I knew it wasn't permanent, I had that faith in him. But the familiarity of the situation was stinging me. My heart started to race. He paused in the open door, but didn't turn to look at me.

"I'm coming back, I promise." And he left the room.

I stared after him open mouthed. He had never left like that before. Well, not since those horrible months apart when he tried to leave me for good. I failed at suppressing a shudder. I tried not to let the ghost of that pain take over my whole body.

I had a short minute to collect myself before Alice came bounding into the room all smiles and hyper-active energy. The change between Edward's tense back leaving the room and Alice's bouncing frame entering was jarring. I shook my head trying to keep tears from falling.

She gave me a sympathetic look, but thankfully didn't say anything. I would have broken down if she had. Naturally, she heard everything Edward and I had just said.

Her bubbly energy filled the room. I scowled when she informed me it was time for some girl time. After her lecture about keeping up on appearances, I relented to the pedicure Charlie would surely be expecting me to be sporting when I got home. I bargained for my human minute, changing into my comfortable jeans and a tee shirt before joining her in her room. I didn't catch any sign of Edward on my trip down the hall, but then I hadn't expected any either.

Alice chatted amiably while she buffed and painted my toes and fingers. I tried to maintain a cheerful demeanor, but I was having a hard time keeping my mind away from what happened with Edward.

"Earth to Bella?"

"Sorry Alice." I set my freshly polished hands in my lap. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't get my mind off of last night and his abrupt departure this morning.

"Everything's going to be all right," she offered. "He just needs some time to cool down."

"Is he here right now?"

"He went out for a run. Emmett and Jasper followed him." Her eyes narrowed.

I noticed the specific way she phrased that. They hadn't left together. I frowned.

"They'll only be gone another hour," she tried to reassure me. I nodded again, unsure of my voice. An hour seemed like an awfully long time. "Do you want to talk about what happened? At the club?" she prodded gently.

I sighed. I didn't have anything to lose. "Everything was going great last night. And everything that we talked about was so good, Alice. The dancing was amazing. Intense, you know?"

I looked up to see if she understood. She nodded encouragingly. I paused not sure how to explain what happened next. "When he took me outside things got a little out of control. But it wasn't his fault at all. It was all mine. "

I rushed through the next part, embarrassed to relive the humiliation I felt in the car on the way home.

"My stupid body decided that it was a good time to relieve all the tension. I swear I didn't know that would happen. And I didn't know he could smell me, Alice. Not until what Emmett said in the car." I didn't dare look up as the blood reddened my cheeks. This was so embarrassing.

"Bella, it's okay. Emmett is an idiot. And you shouldn't be embarrassed. It's completely natural. What happened after your orgasm?" I cringed at her casual use of the word. But it sort of helped, to just get it out there.

"Well, I didn't know- you know- what it was at first. When it happened." I tried not to sound awkward and failed miserably.

"That was your first orgasm?" She said, scandalized. I bit my lip and nodded self consciously.

"Oh Bella, that's great!" I laughed self-consciously at her enthusiasm. "How was it?" She asked intently.

"It was great, Alice. I felt like I was going to implode dancing with Edward like that. And then we were outside kissing. And it just happened and I wasn't sure what it was at first. But it was really, really great."

"That will get even better with time." She laughed and squeezed both my hands. I smiled, appreciative of her sisterly advice. "We can talk all about that later. How did Edward react after?"

I thought back, trying to focus on the order of how things happened.

"Well, I didn't know what was wrong at first. Like I said, I was a bit confused myself. He just froze. He was breathing really heavy and he wouldn't move. I didn't realize he could, um, smell me. But I think that's what set him off. His eyes were the darkest I'd ever seen them, and he growled. But I wasn't scared of him, I know he wouldn't hurt me. I just knew he was losing control. I suggested that he stop breathing and then he asked me not to move. I held really still and after a minute he got himself under control and we went back to the car."

Alice looked thoughtful.

"I wasn't ever in any danger, Alice. I promise. He's beating himself up for what could have happened when nothing _did_ happen. He doesn't give himself any credit at all."

"I know, sweety. You're mostly right. If Edward lost himself completely to his vampire instincts, it could be deadly for you. But he isn't just lusting after you. He loves you and he needs to figure out that love and lust can exist together- even for our kind. I know that he could never hurt you. But Edward is Edward and he is going to beat himself up over anything that has to do with you. But I think you're right, it sounds like smelling you sent him close to the edge of losing control."

"So now what do I do? I'm afraid he's going to give up on everything we've been trying. And we've been making so much progress, Alice."

"Well, we're going to finish our girl time-" I rolled my eyes at her priorities"-and after Edward has some sense knocked into him, I suggest you two have a talk. You need to help him realize that you can be responsible for your safety too. You did everything just right. Even after experiencing your first orgasm, you were able to focus on helping him. The way I see it, it's just another thing you need to add to your list of things to practice. Practice makes perfect as they say."

She arched an eyebrow coyly and I had to laugh. What would I do without my best friend and future sister?

**AN: Thanks for the reviews everyone. I'm happy to post this up early for you. I'll post the next chapter when there are 15 reviews (or in 2 days).**


	15. Chapter 15

Edward returned an hour later as Alice had predicted. I sat cross legged on his bed, staring blankly at my dark red nails as I tried to focus on the conversation we needed to have. I was also trying to push down the hurt of him leaving. I seemed to be finding myself in this position a lot lately.

Edward walked into his room at a human pace and closed the door. He leaned against it, not coming closer to me. His hair was tousled from the run and I noticed that his shirt was torn at the shoulder. Noticing my stare, he adjusted his shirt a little with an apologetic shrug. His eyes were tense, but they were lighter. The color of liquid honey. He must have found something small to eat on his run.

"I need to apologize. I've been informed that I acted like - and I quote- 'a self centered ass'. " I laughed once humorlessly, my suspicion confirmed. Emmett and Jasper to the rescue. "Well, that's the part I can repeat anyway."

"I'm sorry they yelled at you," I whispered. I didn't want to have everyone berating Edward regardless of how I felt.

"I deserved it." I couldn't tell if he was referring to the way he acted afterward or his actions in the first place. I had a sneaking suspicion it was the former.

He cocked his head as if listening. He didn't have to explain as a moment later even I could hear the engine on Emmett's Jeep roaring to life. Alice had promised to provide an opportunity for us to talk. Since Charlie was now home, this was our best option. I could always count on Alice. I exhaled. Here goes nothing.

"You do deserve it." I looked up to see the acceptance in his eyes. "But not for the reasons you think," I clarified.

"What we're doing is not wrong, Edward." His eyes dropped to his feet.

"Look at me, please," I continued. His eyes rose to mine. "Do you still agree with the logic about the desensitizing therapy?"

"I do, but -" I cut him off with a raised hand. He let me continue.

"So do I. But I owe you an apology. I haven't been pulling my share of the weight, so to speak. I need to show you that you aren't alone in carrying the burden of keeping me safe." Seeing I still had his attention, I walked over to him at the door. I stopped purposefully a few feet from him. I needed to stay focused.

"Do you love me?"

"You know I do," he stated fervently.

"Do you want to keep me safe?"

"Of course." 

"I only have one more question. But I need to say something first and I want you to really think about it before you answer."

He nodded.

"I've been selfishly pushing you, then relying on you to keep us both in check. I was afraid that you would pull away when things get too intense and I pushed to get everything I could before that point. I realize that about myself and I'm not going to do that anymore."

His face remained calm, taking in what I was saying. I forged onward.

"I need to know that you will trust me to tell you the things that I want and the things that I don't want." I looked into his eyes to make sure he understood how serious I was being.

"So, will you trust me?"

I saw that he understood the weight of my words.

"I do trust you, Bella." He reached out to me and I allowed him to stroke my cheek with the backs of his fingers. I closed my eyes at his touch, but refrained from falling into his arms. I had more to say.

"Thank you. That means a lot to me. I want to promise you right now that I will always tell you the truth. If I'm not comfortable with something, I promise I will tell you. And I promise to hold up my end of the responsibility for keeping me safe while we explore our physical relationship together."

He nodded, impressed. That had gone just as smoothly as I'd planned in my mind. Here was the tricky part. I took a deep breath.

"As a first step to that, I need to tell you that I love the way you've allowed yourself to touch me. I'm not ashamed of it and I don't feel guilty." His eyes widened at my bold statements. "Last night was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me," I continued.

His eyes did that scorching thing and I almost lost all thought.

"What happened last night -" he began with an apology on his lips.

"No, Edward. I'm not ashamed. And frankly, if you say you are, it's going to hurt my feelings. What happened last night was the most sensual thing I have ever experienced and your reaction to me was a big part of that. I love knowing that I affect you too." His eyes got darker. My heart skipped a beat. I couldn't control my reactions to him. I had to focus if I was going to get through this conversation. I took a deep breath. "But the important thing is, when you needed me to help you calm down, I was there for you. That is what I meant when I asked you if you trust me."

He considered my words. It wasn't weak to rely on the person you love when you needed them most.

"I understand what you mean," he said, gathering me into his arms. "And you are right. I didn't realize it, but I'm sorry I doubted you. "

I exhaled in relief, settling into his arms as he leaned against the back of his bedroom door. I felt a huge pressure lift off of me.

"Can I be honest in return?" I nodded my head against his chest. "Allowing myself these liberties with you has been the most difficult thing I have ever done. The desire I feel for you is as strong as the blood lust I felt. Stronger, in some ways. I don't have eighty years of experience controlling it. All I have to counter these impulses are the morals I was raised with - the ones that don't make any sense to you- and my need to protect you, even from myself."

I squeezed my arms around him gently, trying to provide him some measure of comfort.

"The beautiful woman whom I love and desire more than anything in this world, is nearly begging me for more and the man in me is right there with her, aching for the same. And I'm so afraid to give either of them what they want lest I lose control and kill you accidentally. It would be so easy to make a mistake with catastrophic repercussions."

"I'm sorry," I whispered in understanding.

"The other day, after I touched you so intimately in your bed-" I nodded. The night of the infamous massage. "I spent the night alternating between feeling elated and horribly guilty. I feared I had crossed a line and I berated myself for taking such pleasure over your body. I didn't know what to do and I nearly fell into my old pattern of trying to control the situation and I realize now, trying to control you."

I knew he was referring to his decision to slow things down. Alice had warned me about that the morning of our impromptu sleep over.

"Then we went dancing and I was this close to losing it... My own personal siren, tempting me in every way possible. I couldn't _not_ touch you. And I knew you enjoyed it. I _knew_ you wanted more." His voice was getting rougher at the memory and the sound of his desire send a thrill down my spine. I tried not to react, but it was a lost cause. My heart rate was wild, my breathing was heavier.

"I wanted you so badly. I needed you," he whispered. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He held me tightly against his chest, whispering into my hair like a confession.

My heart was beating hard. Did he know what he was doing to me with his words? I'd never heard him speak like this. He'd never talked so passionately about having desire for me. I knew how I felt, but hearing him say he felt the same was doing strange things to my self control. The electricity between us was intense.

"And then, my God, I nearly took you outside of that dance club, right there on the floor. Or up against that wall. Preferably both. Knowing how your desired me, the way your body reacted. The smell alone..." He growled and looked into my eyes. I was mesmerized. This was a whole new kid of dazzling.

I looked away, trying to break the pull my body felt toward him. I was trembling with desire. Again. I didn't dare look at him. I knew what his face would look like. I knew his eyes would be black pools of desire. And I knew if I moved, I would trigger something neither of us could stop.

**AN: Thank you for all of your reviews! You are all so kind. The next chapter will be up in 2 days or 15 reviews. Enjoy!**


	16. Chapter 16

We remained in each other's arms, each of us trying to calm down. I tried to keep from triggering something we'd regret by making any movement at all.

"I'm sorry," he finally whispered.

"I'm not sorry," I said firmly. I finally moved, leaning back to look up into his eyes. They were black, but not wild. His arms still held me firmly around my waist. "I'm not sorry about the vampire, or the man. I love them both. But I am sorry it's been so hard for you." His face was a mixture of emotions, too quick for me to pinpoint any one.

"You misunderstood me, Bella. I'm done being sorry for either of them. These experiences you've shared with me have also been the most sensual of my existence. And I love you that much more for it. What I'm saying sorry for, my love, is that I couldn't satisfy your needs without hurting you. When you are my wife, I will worship every inch of your body in the most thorough way I can."

My heart flew out of my chest, racing with the images filling my head. I'm sure my eyes were huge. He laughed seductively at my reaction and captured my lips. I poured myself into the kiss with abandon. Hearing Edward talk to me like that was the biggest turn on ever.

I levered my hips against him, pushing him firmly against the door with my body. We kissed passionately until I had to come up for air. I panted while he kissed along my neck. His hands guided my head to the side a fraction allowing him better access there.

"Might I suggest we move this to the bed?" he said lowly. I paused. I had just promised to be responsible. I took two deep breaths. Before I spoke to possibly slow things down, I had to remind myself that there would be more to come if we could control ourselves.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I couldn't bring myself to shut this down completely. This was a good compromise.

He smiled at me softly. Pleased at my new level of responsibility no doubt. He nodded, sure of his control. His eyes questioned me in return.

I bit my lip and nodded back. I squealed as we flew through the air and I landed softly in his bed. We laughed together as he crawled up the bed and crouched over me. Checking our mutual control, he lowered himself gently on top of me. Although I'm sure he was holding up part of his weight, I could definitely feel the comfortable pressure of him against my body. I smiled.

He raised one of his hands to my face and softly stroked back a stray hair, sliding his knuckles softly along my cheek bone. He leaned in and kissed me deeply. His tongue moved softly against my mouth and I opened my lips humming with the pleasure he was giving me.

He pulled away, again gazing into my eyes. He fanned out my hair to the side, along the pillow. His eyes searched my face, caressing me with his gaze. His eyes were filled with love so obvious, I warmed my skin. I felt so loved and desired in that moment, it was pure bliss.

Wanting to feel his skin, I ran my hand under his shirt and up to his smooth chest muscles. I could feel his nipples harden at my touch.. Feeling frisky, I caught his nipple between my fingers, rolling it between them. He hissed, inhaling suddenly. His eyes were black again and he looked at me with surprise and what I could definitely identify as desire. I moved to the other nipple and repeated the same treatment. His eyes were dark as he looked at me hungrily.

Feeling bold, I pulled his shirt up. He finished pulling it over his head before dropping it on the floor. Edward should always be shirtless. It was a crime to hide his beautiful chest. I trailed my fingers over his muscles, careful to avoid looking at his face. His face always distracted me with its beauty and his ever changing expressions. Right now, I wanted to memorize every inch of his sculpted chest.

His hand inched up the bottom of my shirt. Apparently, I was about to get payback. His cool fingers slipped under the fabric of my shirt, caressing up my skin. I stretched to kiss him, too anxious to wait for the delicious torture I knew was coming. He kissed me back as his hand slid upwards. He stopped at the bottom of my bra, and his fingers traveled away slowly.

"Edward," I moaned into his mouth. I wanted to tell him how much I wanted him to touch me, but my brain wasn't correctly enough for speech. I felt ridiculous with all my moaning and panting. I just couldn't help the way he made me react.

Sitting up, he straddled my hips. My heart raced at this new development. Looking into my eyes, he lifted my shirt slowly over my head. I raised my arms helping the shirt to come off completely. Once my shirt disappeared, I watched as Edward's eyes moved over my exposed skin.

I knew the bra Alice had foisted on me this weekend was probably not hiding much. I was breathing too heavily, watching him devour me with his eyes. His hands rested lightly on the tops of his thighs. _His strong muscular thighs. Straddling me_.

My hands twitched, wanting to run up his legs and explore the muscles there. I wanted to pull him by his hair back on top of me. I wanted him to touch me again. I nearly hyperventilated, waiting for his next action. Every second my anticipation doubled and I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I would gladly throw out all of our carefully planned rules right this second if he would just touch me. Anywhere. I was about to lose it.

With a feat of control I didn't know I had, I did the one thing I didn't want to do.

"Snickerdoodle," I whispered. _Damn it. Why did I have to be so responsible?_

His eyes snapped to mine immediately. Expecting a look of disappointment, which I'm sure was written all over my face, I was instead surprised to see pride flash in his eyes. He leaned in to kiss me softly as his leg swung free of my hip, releasing me. He laid on his side next to me, kissing me softly.

That wasn't so bad. We were still kissing. He didn't slow things down, just shifted the direction.

I practiced kissing him while actually breathing. Eventually, he kissed along my neck and surprised me by continuing to kiss down to my collar bone. His tongue darted out, tasting my skin while his fingers drew lazy patterns on the flesh of my stomach, tickling and pleasing the skin there.

His mouth continued along the sensitive path below my collar bone and then lower. I nearly hyperventilated again as he kissed along the tops of my breast stopping at the fabric of my bra. Each kiss was soft and open. His path traveled from the top of one breast into the valley between. He paused there with his face buried between my breasts, and I could feel his cool breath travel along my skin as he worshiped me with his kisses. I shivered again as his kisses traveled along the top of my other breast. He headed north to my other collar bone and up that side of my neck. I was a trembling, pleasured pile of goo when he reclaimed my lips.

Edward's phone rang on the nightstand. I jumped slightly at the noise. It wasn't loud, but it was definitely unwelcomed. We both ignored it for a few rings, before Edward tore his lips from mine with a an annoyed grimace. He sat up and swung his leg over me again to reach for the phone on his nightstand. I watched him straddling above me as he swiped the phone from the table and brought it to his ear. I tried not to pout.

"What?" He wasn't happy. He listened without comment, his eyes locked with mine. He hung up with a begrudging thank you. Whatever the conversation was, he wasn't pleased. He tossed the phone back onto the night stand.

"Alice says that Charlie has decided to surprise you by coming to pick you up." He frowned slightly.

An ungraceful noise left my mouth, frustrated with Charlie's meddling. Edward ran his hands through his hair and I was momentarily distracted by every single muscle in his chest and arms flexing with the motion. He smiled mischievously, clearly catching my ogling.

I blushed.

Edward groaned, shaking his head. With what was obviously an effort for him, he released me, moving away from the bed. I sat up, my legs dangling over the edge. Somehow knowing he was having a hard time stopping was making it easier for me to accept. I would have much rather continued without Charlie's interference, but I had never seen Edward so ... needy. Was that the right word? I was beginning to suspect that he felt just as needy as I did.

He knelt on the floor between my legs, making his face just higher than my chest. He smiled softly as he held up my abandoned shirt. I frowned at it and he chuckled, placing a kiss in my hair. He pulled the shirt over my head. I pulled my arms through, but he didn't release the shirt as I had expected. He held it up under my chin. I looked at him curiously.

He looked into my eyes before leaning in to kiss the hollow at the base of my neck. His lips travelled an inch lower as the shirt followed. He kissed each of my clavicle bones just before the shirt covered them. My heart sped up again and I felt him smile as he kissed over my heart.

His kiss between my breasts lingered a moment longer, his head buried gently there. Then he pulled the shirt down slowly, covering me further. I laughed as he kissed above my navel. He lowered the shirt fully over me. His task accomplished, he rested his head in my lap and wrapped his arms around my hips. I ran my fingers through his hair, holding him to me for a moment.

"I love you Edward," I whispered.

He looked up into my eyes with love and adoration filling them. "You are my life," he said simply.

The family arrived home, and Alice, Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme stayed while the rest of them took off in preparation for Charlie's arrival. I was sad to see Edward have to leave, but I knew I'd be seeing him later tonight. We held each other, kissing sweetly until Edward could hear Charlie pulling into the driveway. He walked me downstairs and left with a final kiss out the back door. My heart was filled with love and happiness.

Alice reminded me to show Charlie my manicure - I rolled my eyes, and then we sat down to watch TV surrounded by blankets and pillows while we waited for Charlie to make it up the long driveway. I had never had a better sleepover.

**AN: Wow! Thanks for the reviews. I'm happy to post up another chapter today! **

**There are only two chapters left! I'll post the next chapter when I get 15 chapters or in two days.**


	17. Chapter 17

I spent the day taking care of all the things I had neglected to do around the house. Charlie was of course at work, but Edward alternated between helping and looking bewildered as I did things like laundry, vacuuming and grocery shopping. I think the grocery shopping was the strangest experience for him. I had to remind myself that he was born over a hundred years ago and didn't regularly participate in these types of human activities.

I thought it would be a pretty boring day for Edward, but he insisted that he was fascinated learning how to do things like load the dishwasher. So he helped me until the house was clean and I sat down exhausted on the sofa in the living room.

He sat down next to me and pulled my feet into his lap. I closed my eyes as he rubbed my feet. It felt heavenly.

"You worked hard today," he commented. I hummed in response. I had worked hard, and although I was tired, it felt good. The house was clean and I had a very productive day. I allowed myself the luxury of enjoying Edward's attentions on my feet.

My stomach rumbled unexpectedly and I realized how late it was. With a sigh, I pulled my feet out of his lap. "I should get dinner started. Charlie will be home soon."

"I suppose I should take that as my cue to leave..." He frowned at the thought of leaving me, even though we'd spent the entire day together. I felt the same way. But I knew I needed to spend some time with Charlie too.

"Are you still going hunting tonight?" I tried to keep the disappointment from my voice. I wanted to be supportive of his needs, but I was hoping he wouldn't have to be gone all night. I got the feeling he saw right through my feeble efforts of pretend.

"I can be back a little after midnight, if we leave now." I smiled, pleased that I would still get time with him tonight.

We spent a few minutes kissing before he tore himself away with promises to be back later that night. I started on dinner, all the while reliving our many happy memories we had created recently. Charlie came home at the usual time and we ate in comfortable silence, moving on to some television before he went up to bed.

I had a few hours to kill before Edward would be back. I went through my usual shower routine before settling in with a good book. I'd read it a few times, but I didn't mind.

The next thing I knew, I was being awoken with a kiss on the lips. The firm, yet tender kisses were more than welcome and I happily responded.

"Did I fall asleep?" I mumbled against his lips.

"I'm sorry I woke you, I just couldn't resist your lips," he whispered.

"Glad you did," I whispered. He slipped under the covers with me, and his cool skin was a welcome distraction from my sleep.

He kissed me thoroughly awake, sending thrills through my whole body.

I guided him on top of me and I nearly moaned just from the feel of his weight pressing into me. A sudden idea occurred to me. I didn't know if I could convince him to go along with it or not.

"Edward, let's go somewhere." I looked up at him waiting for his reaction.

"Now?" he whispered, looking around my room.

He had a point, it was the middle of the night. A moment of inspiration struck me and I explained my plan to him.

"Are you sure sneaking out is a good idea? What if Charlie wakes up while you're gone?" he asked.

"I'm not hearing your psychic sister calling on the phone," I hinted.

He laughed quietly. We both held our breath, waiting for his phone to vibrate. His eyes were dancing and we shared a smile. When nothing happened, he finally gave in.

"All right, but grab a sweater. It's cold outside."

I nearly squealed with excitement as I threw on a hoodie. Why hadn't I thought of doing this before?

Edward held me in his arms as he jumped silently from my window. Once we were safely on the ground, he helped me onto his back and we ran into the forest. I laughed out loud at the exhilaration of it all. His heart felt laugh echoed mine. I loved hearing him laugh.

We reached his house in no time at all. He slowed as he walked up to the front door, setting me down on my feet.

"That's strange," he said.

"What?" I suddenly had the urge to whisper.

"No one is home. They were all here when I left." He looked puzzled.

We went inside. The house was indeed empty. Edward returned from the dining room with a note in his hand. He handed it to me with a strange expression I couldn't pin point.

_Bella, _

_Time for a do-over. Don't forget, practice makes perfect. _

_Alice_

I laughed, embarrassed. Alice was giving me the opportunity to show Edward that our night at the dance club hadn't been a mistake. That we could move forward. His expression grew more curious and what I would describe as wary.

"Edward, can we go up to your room?"

Knowing something beyond his control was happening, he hesitated. I bit my lip waiting for his response.

"Bella, you are trouble," he warned.

I just smiled as innocently as I could. I probably looked horribly guilty.

After a moment of hesitation, he smiled shaking his head. He picked me up and walked at a human pace up the stairs with me. He set me gently on his bed.

He looked at me waiting for me to do something. I thought about jumping at him and saying 'boo' just to see if he'd run away. I would probably just embarrass myself. "I want a do-over from the other night."

"A do - over?" he asked.

"From the club," I explained.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" He was hesitant. This was still a bit of a sensitive point for him. I knew he was afraid of losing control. I decided to throw a little of his own words back at him.

"Edward, after we're married, I fully expect you to worship every inch of my body and satisfy my every desire. I plan on you ravaging me on every surface we can find."

Edward's eyes widened noticeably. I knew that meant I had surprised him deeply. His words repeated back to him had the effect I was looking for. I took a deep breath, trying to be brave and fearless and aggressive. I could do this. I am an adult. He hadn't moved a single centimeter. I knew I had his full attention. "In the meantime, I would like to dance with you. Is that too much to ask?" I finished.

I led him by both hands to stand on the floor.

When we arrived in the middle of his room, I realized I hadn't planned this out very well. I didn't have any music or anything. I looked up at Edward for help. This was apparently the end of my ability to be in control of the situation. He laughed at my lost expression and zipped over to his sound system.

He stood scanning his shelves of CDs. He looked over to me with the same lost expression I'm sure I had just given him. I laughed, realizing he didn't have any appropriate music for the kind of dancing I wanted to do.

"Try Alice's room," I suggested.

He was only gone for two seconds, before he returned with a triumphant smile placing a CD in his player. When he turned on the music, I was impressed at the bass reverberating through his room. His sound system was way better than Alice's. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised.

He gathered me into his arms, pulling me against his chest. I decided I could be in control again. I was going to put it all out there tonight. I bit my lip, nervous about what I wanted to do.

I reached up with shaky hands and started to unfasten the top button of his shirt. I tried to make my hands move with purpose, but they were more clumsy than I would have liked. Almost expecting a refusal, I was relieved when he helped me finish the buttons and tossed his shirt on the floor.

I ran my hands appreciatively over the smooth skin of his chest and stomach. His eyes watched me intensely. The beat demanded movement and we started moving slowly together. It wasn't quite the grinding, dirty-dancing we had done last night.

I thought back to Alice's lessons. Hips and knees. I moved experimentally and Edward followed me. I moved again pushing against his body. He followed and pushed against mine just as firmly. Give and take.

This was going to be good.

**AN: Sorry this is so late- I've been sick. There's only one more chapter! Thank you for all of your reviews. This has been really fun to write.**


	18. Chapter 18

I locked my arms around his neck and his hands lowered to my hips. I relished in the feel of his bare his chest against my hands. We moved together, letting our bodies rock and sway as one. I couldn't help but think about sex. If it felt anything like this, I couldn't wait.

Remembering how good it felt before, I placed my legs on either side of his strong thigh. His hand lowered to my butt, pressing me firmly against him. As the beat moved our bodies in rhythm together, I realized a missed opportunity. I placed a hand on his strong chest and the other on his rear, using the leverage to pull his hips tighter against me. I ground my body softly against him. What felt good to me had to feel good to him too, right?

He hissed lowly and my stomach clenched with desire.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. _Please, please, please_.

I waited for his answer as we continued to dance, slowly moving against each other. I could feel the pressure of his excitement against my hip. That was a first. I bit my lip, pleased with his reaction. He growled and dropped his face into my neck.

"So much better than just 'okay'," he breathed. I pulled back, checking his eyes for control. His steady gaze, filled with love and desire, reassured me.

Thanking every deity I knew, I kissed him, pressing my aching need harder against his leg. On impulse, I ran my hand down his chest and over the band of his jeans. I felt the beginning of his erection through his jeans. I stopped my hand there, waiting for permission.

"Snickerdoodle," he panted.

I froze completely, sure I had over-stepped. Edward covered my hand with one of his own, moving it to his bare skin, just above the band of his jeans. The feel of his hard stomach muscles didn't help my self control. I didn't dare look into his eyes, mortified at what I had done. His other hand moved to my hip urging me to continuing moving with him.

"It's okay. Just surprised me," he whispered into my hair.

I nearly sighed in relief that I hadn't ruined everything. After a moment, he moved our intertwined hands purposefully to the top of his thigh and released his hold on my hand. I ran my hand along the muscles there, fascinated with the movement of them. The music continued, strong and demanding in its beat. I followed the movements of his hips with my own, our bodies melded together as one.

I lifted my chin to look into his eyes and he captured my lips again. The kiss became intense and I lost the ability to move at the same time. Just as I felt I was about to collapse, he effortlessly lifted me up to his mouth, wrapping his arms around my waist. I automatically wrapped my legs around his waist to support some of my weight.

He kissed me with so much passion and need pouring from his lips. My lips parted, allowing him as much access as he was comfortable with. He lavished my mouth with attention.

Trying something new, I took his bottom lip into my mouth, sucking it gently between my teeth. I bit down ever so lightly before releasing it. His eyes flew open, hungry and black.

He pushed my back up against his bedroom door, leaning into me. His hands were everywhere, freed from the responsibility of holding me up. His tongue pushed further into my mouth, tasting me. I groaned with the pleasure of it. The taste of him was incredible. The feel of his tongue against my own was heaven.

He pushed me harder against the door and I squirmed against him, an ache building inside of me. I couldn't control my body as I pushed against him, again and again. He moved against me, returning my need as his tongue moved in delicious rhythm with our bodies. He was ridiculously talented at everything he did. I couldn't help but draw parallels again and I moaned into his mouth.

His hand slipped under my shirt and I nearly lost it as he squeezed my breast firmly in his palm. His mouth left mine and I threw my head back accidentally hitting it against the door. I wanted to laugh at my clumsiness and cry with the pleasure he was bringing me. Unable to do anything else, I panted breathlessly.

His head lowered to the top of the breast he was caressing, tasting the skin there with his mouth. It was too much and I exploded in ecstasy. I arched my body into his capable hands as my hips pushed against him in need.

He jerked the fabric of my shirt out of the way, growling with his own need. His hands caressed me, sending waves of continued pleasure between my legs. I was sent crashing off the edge of reason.

Feeling I couldn't take any more pleasure, I whispered the safe word. He released me immediately, setting me gently onto the ground. He looked searchingly into my eyes. I didn't try to hide the expression of pleasure so intense it bordered on pain.

His eyes were molten need. I watched as he exerted monumental effort to step away from me. It was just an inch of separation, but it was torture to be apart.

I realized suddenly that he had misunderstood my use of the safe word. Unwilling to leave him unsatisfied, I pressed my body against him and purposefully moved my leg against his groin. He groaned loudly in my ear.

I shifted my leg against him, harder.

My hand came once again to the band of his jeans. I waited for him to stop me. After the space of two wild heart beats, I slid my hand slowly over the bulge in his jeans. He buried his face in my neck, tense with need. He began kissing the skin there. I rubbed against him softly, not sure what would feel good to him.

He pushed his hips against my hand reflexively. I applied more pressure, stroking down the entire length of his erection. I didn't have a first-hand comparison, but he seemed huge. Almost twice the length of my hand. I knew in that moment without a doubt how much he desired me. I stroked back up as he moaned my name.

"Bella, I can't-" he gasped. There was an edge of desperation in his voice.

"Shh. Don't over think it," I borrowed Rose's advice.

I wanted to give him this, but I loved him enough to respect his boundaries and I moved my hand to his butt and gave it a firm squeeze.

"Bella," he moaned.

The aching between my legs started again, hearing the rawness in his voice. I placed my myself between his legs and slid my body down several inches and back up with the music. Alice would be so proud that her lessons had paid off.

His hands twisted into my hair and he turned my face to his own. Looking into my eyes, he inhaled deeply. My lips parted in anticipation. His eyes fluttered in pleasure before he attacked my lips with his own. I moved aggressively against him wanting him to experience the same pleasure he had brought me.

I let him guide the motion of our bodies as they moved together hungrily.

He froze suddenly and I felt him twitch against my stomach. He clutched me against his chest tightly. I felt powerful and sexy knowing I could affect him this way. His quietly animalistic noises of pleasure tipped me over the edge one more time. My body pulsed in pleasure, causing me to pant against his lips.

He breathed out heavily and pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head. I returned his embrace and held on to him with all of my strength, feeling a connection with him I knew could never be broken. I knew he felt the same as his arms held me tightly.

We carried me to the bed, and we laid together, holding on to the euphoria of our shared high. Edward held me tightly against his chest, no doubt listening to my heart beat returning to normal. He stroked his fingers down my back lazily.

We shared a laugh over the indentations in the wall in the exact shape of Edward's hands. I was pleased he didn't berate himself for a perceived lack of control. Instead he said it gave him some ideas for our honeymoon. Something about redirecting.

With his shirt still off, I was enjoying the feel of his skin beneath my fingers. I decided I could stay this way forever. Maybe I could talk him into sleeping like this, I thought happily.

He kissed the top of my head and I sighed with pleasure and contentment. Even though I still wasn't looking forward to being the center of attention in my own wedding, I knew without a doubt that I wanted to marry this man. I would go through a hundred weddings, a transformation, losing my family and so much more to be with him. I was ready to spend eternity with Edward by my side.

The End

**AN: It has been so fun to write this for you all. Thank you for your reviews and your kind words of encouragement. Thank you, Thank you! I hope you enjoyed this last chapter. It should leave us off at the beginning of Breaking Dawn. **


	19. sequel now posted

Sequel to Up All Night

It's been a long time since I posted this story, but I was never completely satisfied with leaving Edward and Bella *all sexually frustrated* just before Breaking Dawn.

so... I've posted a sequal called Snickerdoodles and Lemons. It will be a continued exploration of B and E working through their sexual angst. It's going to be in a separate story since it won't be keeping to the no sex storyline of Twilight.

Head over there to check it out!


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